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goneawayworld2020-11-17 10:46 pm
piper90npcs) wrote in goneawayworld2020-11-17 10:46 pm
Entry tags:
Welcome to Casa de Planker
Who: Planker and the New Hires.
What: Planker Rooms.
Where: The Gym
When: After Saturday's latest Network Post
Warnings/Notes: Planker, so there's vulgar language and painful exercise involved.
Some things have changed since the murders started. Some things haven't. The New Hires are still expected to hold to a schedule. But today, for once, the schedule is clear, other than the required exercise. And it ought to be an easy one, considering that today's one of Lubistch's days. He's always relaxed and they can work on their own pace. Really, he's taken over this entire mess for the past week or so, with Planker busy with something. He doesn't know what, but he's come up with at least thirty-seven different items that the Head of Training needs forcefully removed from his rectum.
So imagine the feeling the New Hires must feel when they file in, some perhaps not even on time, and see Planker standing there, beaming broadly. "Ladies and gigolos, welcome home. Did you miss me? Daddy missed you. That's why he's taking a second swing at you." He spreads his arms, as if embracing the whole group at once. "I heard about Little Red Riding Hood. How terrible for you all. She sounds like my ex-wife. If you'd've just introduced her to me she'd be right back home and not reshaping your guts for you. That's my job." He shakes his head, disappointed, then turns and takes a few steps to a little... No, nothing little about it. That's a straight up throne he's had built for himself. He presses a button and a fake wall displaying the rest of the gym falls. Instead, there's cubes. Cubes stacked on top of cubes.
Planker Rooms.
He smiles, resting his cheek on his fist. "Now, don't worry. God doesn't hate you. He's right here, in front of you. Sitting upon His throne. God just wants you little chimps to be better, stronger, faster than you were before. That's why the Good Lord, in all of My wisdom, decided it was time to put you through your paces again. You've all gotten complacent. Look where it got you! We got, what, the pasty fuckface, Skunk Girl, the druggie, and that coffin-dodging oxygen thief with the metal arm in the Boo-Boo Room? And then there's Tenten, but she's not even that anymore. More like FiveFive. I mean, holy fuck. Have you seen her when they're changing her bandages now?" He rolls his eyes to the heavens and sighs, put upon. "Really, it's because I've been too easy on you. I blame myself. I can admit when I've been too lax. So that's why we've got more rooms, and you'll be running them all day." He stands jabbing a finger at the crew. "I'm gonna PT you until you shit yourselves and die, if that's what it takes!"
Planker settles back in and checks his watch. "I'm guessing Fives is getting out of her little mandatory therapy right about now. Tell you what, if any of you go up to her and tell her that she's just as pretty as she was before she got peeled like a banana, I'll let you off for the rest of the day." A pause. "No takers? Fine. Let's go. You and you, start fucking running. And no blowing up the rooms this time! No breaking the chains, no nothing, unless the rooms have an obstacle meant to be destroyed. HR says I had to put up signs for those, so they're there. Anyone who does that, I got you on camera for destroying company property. Ask the Easter Bunny and his little thumper buddies how violations like that go."
There's 24 rooms now. They're arranged in two rows, six rooms long, with another set on top of them.
҉ First room: Simple enough. There's a series of six walls in this room blocking the way to the door. The characters simply have to knock them down to get to the door. wall has a little "Destroy me!" sticker slapped onto it. Planker's even supplied a five pound sledgehammer for the job... connected by a thick chain to a 400 pound ball of cement covered in those same chains.
҉ Second room: This room features a tunnel half filled with an icy brine. The surface has iced over slightly, but not enough to support anyone's weight. There are alternating walls with gaps that the partners have to either climb over or swim under.
҉ Third Room: A large, thick pole is set into the center of this room, with several meter-wide poles set into it. There's a lot of resistance. Pushing the poles, making several complete circuits, slowly gets the portcullis covering the door to rise. Partners must get the portcullis raised, then dash to the door before it closes.
҉ Fourth Room: This room looks like chaos. Several treadmills are suspended from the ceiling with bungee cords. Swinging between them are wrecking balls. The floor underneath it moves, preventing anyone (short of a superhuman, that is) from trying to race to the door and skip the obstacles.
҉ Fifth Room: This room is filled with two feet of snow. Or ice shavings, but it amounts to the same thing. One partner must wear a pair of stilts. The other sits on their shoulders, with a quarterstaff used to fend off sandbags swinging at them from ropes.
҉ Sixth Room: The partners must push a series of four wall segments (on rails, thankfully) up a ramp. Each wall segment adds about 125 pounds of resistance that the characters must push. Six feet after the final wall, there's a door with the next row.
҉ Seventh Room: Turrets stick out of the walls. They fire steel balls the size of an orange at the partners, who have to take a football and throw it into a six inch wide hole at the end of the corridor. The turrets are controlled by children in one of Jorgmund's arcades, as revealed by CCTV.
҉ Eighth Room: This room is filled with plastic plants. Trees and ferns and such. Tied to the plants, with fishing line, are fish hooks that will snatch and snag at the characters, their clothing, and their skin. They must pull up various ferns to find the key to the next room.
҉ Ninth Room: There's a pit filled with colorful balls. The return of Planker's favorites: Disguised glue grenades, stun balls, and concussion grenades. There's a rope swing for characters to Tarzan their way across, but no gloves. Good luck with rope burn.
҉ Tenth Room: This is... It's just a car wash. Characters can walk right through it. The trick is, the water has been replaced with salty lemon juice.
҉ Eleventh Room: It's a game of minesweeper, with one partner planting the flags while the other tells them where to go. The mines are non-lethal concussion mines. The entire floor electrifies for every false flag placed at the end of the game.
҉ Twelfth Room: To ascend to the second level of the obstacle course, the partners must walk across a bed of hot coals, then climb up a flight of stairs made of solid ice. There are three levels of this.
҉ Thirteenth Room: Nothing bad happens in this room. There's no challenge. There are only pressure plates that click with every step the partners make while the lights swirl and change colors with growing rapidity while the room vibrates more the closer they get to the door.
҉ Fourteenth Room: You know those non-lethal anti-personnel claymores on the front of foreign embassies? They explode and send a spray of hard rubber balls everywhere? New Hires must choose which of them stands in front of one while the other triggers it. It refuses to trigger without someone standing within range. The door won't open until that happens. In addition, Planker insists on two for flinching.
҉ Fifteenth Room: Suspended from the ceiling by poles are a series of foot-wide platforms that spin at different speeds. They're suspended fifteen feet above the hard metal floor. If any of the platforms is stood on for more than five seconds, it drops to the floor. To open the door, every platform must be leapt on, in the same trip, and the New Hires have to make it to the door.
҉ Sixteenth Room: This room is arranged into a complex maze, with the only light coming from dim strips running along where the walls meet the floors and ceilings. Four brightly colored ghosts roam the halls. If one of the New Hires is touched, they'll be tazed, then dragged into a freezer unit in the center of the maze and locked in until their partners rescue them. If both partners are captured, they're sent back to the first room. To combat the lack of any visibility, the New Hires are supplied with night vision goggles, but the goggles leave oily black circles around their eyes.
҉ Seventeenth Room: New Hires must battle a sumo robot (who cheats with magnetic feet and a slick body) on a spinning, swinging, randomly tilting platform. Below the platform is a pit of lubricant. To win, they must either force the robot out of the circle or get some part of its body other than its feet to touch the ground.
҉ Eighteenth Room: There's a two meter wide, but free spinning, pole set into the floor suspended above a pit of thumbtacks. The pole is at a 30 degree angle. As the partners run across it, three fifteen pound sandbags drop from the ceiling. If a single one doesn't get caught, the pole drops, allowing the partners to fall into the pit.
҉ Nineteenth Room: Partners have to push a barrel filled with mercury up a twelve foot warped wall.
҉ Twentieth Room: A character has to crawl into a ball. Another character tries to get them to the exit. Only problem is that the room's done up as a pinball game, with the 'free' character only controlling the flippers. Not the bumpers or anything else. Of course, when the first character gets across, it's the second character's turn.
҉ Twenty-first Room: This room is filled with sand. It's another maze, but this time in the fashion of an ant farm. By the way, there ARE ants and termites in there.
҉ Twenty-second Room: An inverted rock wall positioned above a layer of feathers and a layer of glue. Spending more than a few heartbeats with your hands or feet on any given grip causes said grips to detach from the wall.
҉ Twenty-third Room: A room with a batch of puzzles (a word finding game, a sudoku puzzle, and a logic problem) that have to be solved while Planker counts down from five hundred. If he reaches zero before the New Hire solves the puzzles, a trap door opens and drops them back in the second chamber. Depending on how annoyed he is so far, he might 'accidentally' lose count and skip ahead. Or, rarely, start over.
҉ Twenty-fourth and Final Room: The partners must use an eight-'rung' salmon ladder to retrieve a weighted Jorgmund flag (the flag has lead sand filling it, making it weigh 45 pounds.) from the center of a cement sphere marked with a "Destroy me!" sticker and a sledgehammer. From there, they slide down a slide covered in sandpaper, with a hammer set in the center to catch the crotch of anyone careless enough to just go straight through. At the bottom is a golf club, a ball that provides an electric shock when touched, and a tee. The floor is solid metal. One partner must lie on the floor, finding a way to hold the tee, support it and the ball while holding down a pair of buttons with their hands to uncover the hole that their partner needs to hit the ball through. A miss means a new ball drops down. Planker has a picture of a bloody-nosed intern holding the tee between his teeth while he and some others tee off somewhere pasted on the floor next to a button. When the ball enters the hole, the partners must go over a blisteringly-hot floor until they reach the end. A flagpole. They need to set up the flag so that it displays 'proudly'. Unfortunately, there's no rope, they must climb the thirty foot flagpole and clip the flag in place with clamps at the top.
As a note, any 'disrespect' to the flag (damaging it, letting any part of it hit the ground, tying it to themselves like a cape) will result in Planker zapping the partner that didn't do it and forcing them to the first room to complete the course again. Alone. While the first partner waits for them.
[[As a reminder, you can start off in any room you find interesting. This is for giggles and suffering, not a dungeon crawl.]]
What: Planker Rooms.
Where: The Gym
When: After Saturday's latest Network Post
Warnings/Notes: Planker, so there's vulgar language and painful exercise involved.
Some things have changed since the murders started. Some things haven't. The New Hires are still expected to hold to a schedule. But today, for once, the schedule is clear, other than the required exercise. And it ought to be an easy one, considering that today's one of Lubistch's days. He's always relaxed and they can work on their own pace. Really, he's taken over this entire mess for the past week or so, with Planker busy with something. He doesn't know what, but he's come up with at least thirty-seven different items that the Head of Training needs forcefully removed from his rectum.
So imagine the feeling the New Hires must feel when they file in, some perhaps not even on time, and see Planker standing there, beaming broadly. "Ladies and gigolos, welcome home. Did you miss me? Daddy missed you. That's why he's taking a second swing at you." He spreads his arms, as if embracing the whole group at once. "I heard about Little Red Riding Hood. How terrible for you all. She sounds like my ex-wife. If you'd've just introduced her to me she'd be right back home and not reshaping your guts for you. That's my job." He shakes his head, disappointed, then turns and takes a few steps to a little... No, nothing little about it. That's a straight up throne he's had built for himself. He presses a button and a fake wall displaying the rest of the gym falls. Instead, there's cubes. Cubes stacked on top of cubes.
Planker Rooms.
He smiles, resting his cheek on his fist. "Now, don't worry. God doesn't hate you. He's right here, in front of you. Sitting upon His throne. God just wants you little chimps to be better, stronger, faster than you were before. That's why the Good Lord, in all of My wisdom, decided it was time to put you through your paces again. You've all gotten complacent. Look where it got you! We got, what, the pasty fuckface, Skunk Girl, the druggie, and that coffin-dodging oxygen thief with the metal arm in the Boo-Boo Room? And then there's Tenten, but she's not even that anymore. More like FiveFive. I mean, holy fuck. Have you seen her when they're changing her bandages now?" He rolls his eyes to the heavens and sighs, put upon. "Really, it's because I've been too easy on you. I blame myself. I can admit when I've been too lax. So that's why we've got more rooms, and you'll be running them all day." He stands jabbing a finger at the crew. "I'm gonna PT you until you shit yourselves and die, if that's what it takes!"
Planker settles back in and checks his watch. "I'm guessing Fives is getting out of her little mandatory therapy right about now. Tell you what, if any of you go up to her and tell her that she's just as pretty as she was before she got peeled like a banana, I'll let you off for the rest of the day." A pause. "No takers? Fine. Let's go. You and you, start fucking running. And no blowing up the rooms this time! No breaking the chains, no nothing, unless the rooms have an obstacle meant to be destroyed. HR says I had to put up signs for those, so they're there. Anyone who does that, I got you on camera for destroying company property. Ask the Easter Bunny and his little thumper buddies how violations like that go."
There's 24 rooms now. They're arranged in two rows, six rooms long, with another set on top of them.
҉ First room: Simple enough. There's a series of six walls in this room blocking the way to the door. The characters simply have to knock them down to get to the door. wall has a little "Destroy me!" sticker slapped onto it. Planker's even supplied a five pound sledgehammer for the job... connected by a thick chain to a 400 pound ball of cement covered in those same chains.
҉ Second room: This room features a tunnel half filled with an icy brine. The surface has iced over slightly, but not enough to support anyone's weight. There are alternating walls with gaps that the partners have to either climb over or swim under.
҉ Third Room: A large, thick pole is set into the center of this room, with several meter-wide poles set into it. There's a lot of resistance. Pushing the poles, making several complete circuits, slowly gets the portcullis covering the door to rise. Partners must get the portcullis raised, then dash to the door before it closes.
҉ Fourth Room: This room looks like chaos. Several treadmills are suspended from the ceiling with bungee cords. Swinging between them are wrecking balls. The floor underneath it moves, preventing anyone (short of a superhuman, that is) from trying to race to the door and skip the obstacles.
҉ Fifth Room: This room is filled with two feet of snow. Or ice shavings, but it amounts to the same thing. One partner must wear a pair of stilts. The other sits on their shoulders, with a quarterstaff used to fend off sandbags swinging at them from ropes.
҉ Sixth Room: The partners must push a series of four wall segments (on rails, thankfully) up a ramp. Each wall segment adds about 125 pounds of resistance that the characters must push. Six feet after the final wall, there's a door with the next row.
҉ Seventh Room: Turrets stick out of the walls. They fire steel balls the size of an orange at the partners, who have to take a football and throw it into a six inch wide hole at the end of the corridor. The turrets are controlled by children in one of Jorgmund's arcades, as revealed by CCTV.
҉ Eighth Room: This room is filled with plastic plants. Trees and ferns and such. Tied to the plants, with fishing line, are fish hooks that will snatch and snag at the characters, their clothing, and their skin. They must pull up various ferns to find the key to the next room.
҉ Ninth Room: There's a pit filled with colorful balls. The return of Planker's favorites: Disguised glue grenades, stun balls, and concussion grenades. There's a rope swing for characters to Tarzan their way across, but no gloves. Good luck with rope burn.
҉ Tenth Room: This is... It's just a car wash. Characters can walk right through it. The trick is, the water has been replaced with salty lemon juice.
҉ Eleventh Room: It's a game of minesweeper, with one partner planting the flags while the other tells them where to go. The mines are non-lethal concussion mines. The entire floor electrifies for every false flag placed at the end of the game.
҉ Twelfth Room: To ascend to the second level of the obstacle course, the partners must walk across a bed of hot coals, then climb up a flight of stairs made of solid ice. There are three levels of this.
҉ Thirteenth Room: Nothing bad happens in this room. There's no challenge. There are only pressure plates that click with every step the partners make while the lights swirl and change colors with growing rapidity while the room vibrates more the closer they get to the door.
҉ Fourteenth Room: You know those non-lethal anti-personnel claymores on the front of foreign embassies? They explode and send a spray of hard rubber balls everywhere? New Hires must choose which of them stands in front of one while the other triggers it. It refuses to trigger without someone standing within range. The door won't open until that happens. In addition, Planker insists on two for flinching.
҉ Fifteenth Room: Suspended from the ceiling by poles are a series of foot-wide platforms that spin at different speeds. They're suspended fifteen feet above the hard metal floor. If any of the platforms is stood on for more than five seconds, it drops to the floor. To open the door, every platform must be leapt on, in the same trip, and the New Hires have to make it to the door.
҉ Sixteenth Room: This room is arranged into a complex maze, with the only light coming from dim strips running along where the walls meet the floors and ceilings. Four brightly colored ghosts roam the halls. If one of the New Hires is touched, they'll be tazed, then dragged into a freezer unit in the center of the maze and locked in until their partners rescue them. If both partners are captured, they're sent back to the first room. To combat the lack of any visibility, the New Hires are supplied with night vision goggles, but the goggles leave oily black circles around their eyes.
҉ Seventeenth Room: New Hires must battle a sumo robot (who cheats with magnetic feet and a slick body) on a spinning, swinging, randomly tilting platform. Below the platform is a pit of lubricant. To win, they must either force the robot out of the circle or get some part of its body other than its feet to touch the ground.
҉ Eighteenth Room: There's a two meter wide, but free spinning, pole set into the floor suspended above a pit of thumbtacks. The pole is at a 30 degree angle. As the partners run across it, three fifteen pound sandbags drop from the ceiling. If a single one doesn't get caught, the pole drops, allowing the partners to fall into the pit.
҉ Nineteenth Room: Partners have to push a barrel filled with mercury up a twelve foot warped wall.
҉ Twentieth Room: A character has to crawl into a ball. Another character tries to get them to the exit. Only problem is that the room's done up as a pinball game, with the 'free' character only controlling the flippers. Not the bumpers or anything else. Of course, when the first character gets across, it's the second character's turn.
҉ Twenty-first Room: This room is filled with sand. It's another maze, but this time in the fashion of an ant farm. By the way, there ARE ants and termites in there.
҉ Twenty-second Room: An inverted rock wall positioned above a layer of feathers and a layer of glue. Spending more than a few heartbeats with your hands or feet on any given grip causes said grips to detach from the wall.
҉ Twenty-third Room: A room with a batch of puzzles (a word finding game, a sudoku puzzle, and a logic problem) that have to be solved while Planker counts down from five hundred. If he reaches zero before the New Hire solves the puzzles, a trap door opens and drops them back in the second chamber. Depending on how annoyed he is so far, he might 'accidentally' lose count and skip ahead. Or, rarely, start over.
҉ Twenty-fourth and Final Room: The partners must use an eight-'rung' salmon ladder to retrieve a weighted Jorgmund flag (the flag has lead sand filling it, making it weigh 45 pounds.) from the center of a cement sphere marked with a "Destroy me!" sticker and a sledgehammer. From there, they slide down a slide covered in sandpaper, with a hammer set in the center to catch the crotch of anyone careless enough to just go straight through. At the bottom is a golf club, a ball that provides an electric shock when touched, and a tee. The floor is solid metal. One partner must lie on the floor, finding a way to hold the tee, support it and the ball while holding down a pair of buttons with their hands to uncover the hole that their partner needs to hit the ball through. A miss means a new ball drops down. Planker has a picture of a bloody-nosed intern holding the tee between his teeth while he and some others tee off somewhere pasted on the floor next to a button. When the ball enters the hole, the partners must go over a blisteringly-hot floor until they reach the end. A flagpole. They need to set up the flag so that it displays 'proudly'. Unfortunately, there's no rope, they must climb the thirty foot flagpole and clip the flag in place with clamps at the top.
As a note, any 'disrespect' to the flag (damaging it, letting any part of it hit the ground, tying it to themselves like a cape) will result in Planker zapping the partner that didn't do it and forcing them to the first room to complete the course again. Alone. While the first partner waits for them.
[[As a reminder, you can start off in any room you find interesting. This is for giggles and suffering, not a dungeon crawl.]]