"Oh, yeah, I ain't giving it a five-star rating just because it crawls over that rock-bottom standard of not having actual shit smeared on the walls." He shakes his head, as if the fact that that's true is funny and not as tragic he knows it is.

He grins at her enthusiasm. "Most farm animals are animals. Pigs are beasts. We had one that was I-swear-to-God big as our dining room table and heavy to boot. Never had a pig again after it bit off my mom's finger."