[ To quote a fictional character from once upon a TV show, "I don't know what I expected." It's really just the mood about this whole shift and the mess that comes flooding in with it. Mess that he's not sure he's equipped to handle, or that he wants to have to handle. Weird business stuff. Papers no one can read, people with no faces, endless pencils to sharpen. Jargon. There's jargon! He doesn't know corporate jargon! Bureaucracy! He hates that so much, he put in his time, he never wanted this!
Pulled into one of the many board room meetings with zero warning, suddenly shuffling a couple of buzzword list index cards in front of a dingy slideshow projection, all Steven can do... is his best. The fact that he is glowing, pink, and clearly stressing is not a big help. He can't control it, okay. It's a work in progress!
What also doesn't help is he's kind of terrible at lying, and this is so much more lying than acting. ]
Right. Right! Yeah, okay, um. So, I think that... the numbers we want to be good are good. Super good. They're- "on the bleeding edge." So... you... should move the needle! To the numbers we want low! Because they're. They're, they're not there yet. Which I'm sure my associate can help me explain.
[ His best is not the best. No one ever promised that.
The only thing that makes it even slightly less terrible is the fact that he's not all alone in this. He shoots a silent, desperate glance at his fellow New Hire. ]
G.
Will you-- can you just-- give me one second to talk this out, and-- [ In the list of things that are absolutely not working for Steven today: reasoning with the drones. Of course it's not working. The more he tries to hand back the bat, the more insistently they press it into his hands. The more he tries to duck away, the more they crowd him. That was freaking him out enough already. Now consider: it's also really rude.
Steven's been living on a fine mental tether since roughly the second he got back to Earth, and as it turns out, his patience levels have not been restoring the way he pretended to himself that they were.
All it takes is one firm thump between the shoulders too many. ]
Can you STOP PUSHING ME!
[ Whoop, no, there it went. Now he's pink and he accidentally put dent into the copier anyway. With his fist. This is why you don't slam your hands onto tables when you're mad, kids. Because then you are left with a dented copier, a bunch of drones shooting you the thumbs up, and a sense of horror that pushes right up against the freaking-out line.
What he hates the most is that these are the options he has to live with. He can hit the machinery or he can deal with the angry mob of maybe-living people. There's no non-hitting-something road.
And this is the story of how Jorgmund got a transparently miserable boy systematically trying to turn a copier into a pancake with nothing but a baseball bat, super strength, and all the pent-up frustration in the world. Please join in, he would love to get this done faster. He's trying not to think about the fact that it does kinda help with the frustration. ]
H.
[ Hmm. Awkward in many ways. Not the least of which is the fact that this little confessional hallway film crew has him hanging out with another person. He's a little behind on his reality TV, but he thought that wasn't how they did that.
Steven grimaces. Scratches the back of his head.
It's... it's better than another board meeting? Is that something he can hold onto to preserve his manners? ]
I didn't think I'd end up doing another video interview. Uhh, I guess what I'm feeling is that they're not as bad as they could be. For starters. Uh, Jorgmund, that is. For the record. I don't think I have big problems with any New Hires right now. What about you?
I.
[ wildcard for all other needs! feel free to hit me up wherever if you'd like to plot out something or have a question! i'm super open. steven's 100% doing some boring pencil-sharpening type time, "truth or truth" icebreakers, running into some fight situations, etc. i just couldn't scrape up enough words to feel like they were worth a whole individual starter section. ]
no subject
[ To quote a fictional character from once upon a TV show, "I don't know what I expected." It's really just the mood about this whole shift and the mess that comes flooding in with it. Mess that he's not sure he's equipped to handle, or that he wants to have to handle. Weird business stuff. Papers no one can read, people with no faces, endless pencils to sharpen. Jargon. There's jargon! He doesn't know corporate jargon! Bureaucracy! He hates that so much, he put in his time, he never wanted this!
Pulled into one of the many board room meetings with zero warning, suddenly shuffling a couple of buzzword list index cards in front of a dingy slideshow projection, all Steven can do... is his best. The fact that he is glowing, pink, and clearly stressing is not a big help. He can't control it, okay. It's a work in progress!
What also doesn't help is he's kind of terrible at lying, and this is so much more lying than acting. ]
Right. Right! Yeah, okay, um. So, I think that... the numbers we want to be good are good. Super good. They're- "on the bleeding edge." So... you... should move the needle! To the numbers we want low! Because they're. They're, they're not there yet. Which I'm sure my associate can help me explain.
[ His best is not the best. No one ever promised that.
The only thing that makes it even slightly less terrible is the fact that he's not all alone in this. He shoots a silent, desperate glance at his fellow New Hire. ]
G.
Will you-- can you just-- give me one second to talk this out, and-- [ In the list of things that are absolutely not working for Steven today: reasoning with the drones. Of course it's not working. The more he tries to hand back the bat, the more insistently they press it into his hands. The more he tries to duck away, the more they crowd him. That was freaking him out enough already. Now consider: it's also really rude.
Steven's been living on a fine mental tether since roughly the second he got back to Earth, and as it turns out, his patience levels have not been restoring the way he pretended to himself that they were.
All it takes is one firm thump between the shoulders too many. ]
Can you STOP PUSHING ME!
[ Whoop, no, there it went. Now he's pink and he accidentally put dent into the copier anyway. With his fist. This is why you don't slam your hands onto tables when you're mad, kids. Because then you are left with a dented copier, a bunch of drones shooting you the thumbs up, and a sense of horror that pushes right up against the freaking-out line.
What he hates the most is that these are the options he has to live with. He can hit the machinery or he can deal with the angry mob of maybe-living people. There's no non-hitting-something road.
And this is the story of how Jorgmund got a transparently miserable boy systematically trying to turn a copier into a pancake with nothing but a baseball bat, super strength, and all the pent-up frustration in the world. Please join in, he would love to get this done faster. He's trying not to think about the fact that it does kinda help with the frustration. ]
H.
[ Hmm. Awkward in many ways. Not the least of which is the fact that this little confessional hallway film crew has him hanging out with another person. He's a little behind on his reality TV, but he thought that wasn't how they did that.
Steven grimaces. Scratches the back of his head.
It's... it's better than another board meeting? Is that something he can hold onto to preserve his manners? ]
I didn't think I'd end up doing another video interview. Uhh, I guess what I'm feeling is that they're not as bad as they could be. For starters. Uh, Jorgmund, that is. For the record. I don't think I have big problems with any New Hires right now. What about you?
I.
[ wildcard for all other needs! feel free to hit me up wherever if you'd like to plot out something or have a question! i'm super open. steven's 100% doing some boring pencil-sharpening type time, "truth or truth" icebreakers, running into some fight situations, etc. i just couldn't scrape up enough words to feel like they were worth a whole individual starter section. ]