"Sadly, they took all of my bobby pins when I got here," Stacia says. "And I'm not confident enough in my skills to try and snitch them out of the hair of sober women, especially when most employees here are wary of getting in arm's reach of me.

She examines her nails and immediately regrets it. So badly chipped, ugh.

"Which segues nicely to 'by the way, I'm a werewolf'," she adds. "Non-contagious variety."