goneawayworld | HARK! How the bells, sweet silver bells...

Entry tags:

HARK! How the bells, sweet silver bells...

Who: Everyone
What: Holiday Events
Where: Piper 90 - The Rig
When: Post-Rose Tattoo
Warnings/Notes: Holiday cheer, smooches, tactical snowball action

It's the Holiday Season in the Gone Away World and on the Rig in particular! Though they claim to be open to any cultural celebration of this time of year, the dominance of Santa Claus, reindeer, and elves in decorating really kind of blunt that claim. But the PA system, when not blaring alarms or fuzzy announcements for working party C to show up at the maintenance bay, play Christmas tunes of all sorts at inconvenient volumes. Decorations hang limply from the walls. And every worker with children has been issued a shotgun and a bandoleer of shells loaded with pellets of cold iron.

Just in case.

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[ There's sincerity to the tail-end admission that stings to hear. To the whole vibe of it, maybe. Awkward and sincere and long-suffering-- all that is very Wash.

It's not that Tucker can really forget that, as he is right now, whatever the fuck happened to him, this technically isn't the Wash he knows. It's rare that he gets genuinely close to forgetting, because even all the minor differences add up fast from day to day.

It's not that it's a bad thing when Wash says or does something that makes it clear the same seeds are still there.

It's not even that it makes a difference in the fact that Tucker's gonna keep sticking with him. Obviously he is. It just...

Fucking sucks. In general. And also once in a while when they run into the close but no cigar thing, on a smaller, more selfish level that Tucker sort of scoops into a partition for the nebulous "later" appointment that he refuses to reach. ]

If there's one thing I know for sure about us and the Reds, it's that we all probably used to be normal about something at some point. Except for Sarge.

[ Sarge is unique in his batshittery. ]

I'm not a big hugger, anyway. So if you're up for it, you've at least got a guarantee that I'm not gonna make it drawn out and weird.

... which I guess is what normal hugging is?

[There is something, in that moment, of Tucker being fully Tucker in his usual Tuckerness, that makes something click.]

[He sounds exactly like his usual self.]

Tucker, that you even need the clarification is...

[One of those sighs that is half exasperation, half fondness.]

Really not something I should find shocking at this point, should I.

[Wait a second, he doesn't know him, so shouldn't everything be new and surprising?]

[The way he looks at him for just a second is like someone looking at him with full familiarity, like an old friend who knows him well enough to know this is a pattern. But the thing is, Wash has never actually known Tucker long enough to suffer the full weight of his usual weird horn-doggery that they all do - did. When he was worse about it.]

[He suddenly looks confused.]

...Should I?

[ While he's picking himself back up off of the Rig floor, an ultimately wise and less gross decision, no sprinkler on this planet exists that could douse the spark of Tucker's shit-eating grin before it catches and spreads. It's simply too late. ]

Technically no. That's about on par. [ Even brain fuckery couldn't put a lid on it. Incredible. ] God, you would get annoyed like it's muscle memory. I don't know what I even expected.

[Wash looks thoughtful, not sure if he should get Tucker's hopes up. If he should get his own hopes up.]

[He hasn't said it yet, and hasn't admitted it to himself either. But he's pretty sure.]

Tucker, I think it's all there.

[He taps his temple.]

It's like having a word stuck on the tip of your tongue. It's always in there somewhere in the end.

[He stops furrowing his brow.]

The more I talk to you - because you're from the time I can't remember - the more it comes to the surface.

[ Being used to working in a suit of power armor most of the time, helmet and all, makes the fact that Tucker feels some kind of way about that very transparent on his helmet-less face. It's Tucker-brand vulnerability, it's a certain measure of relief for a handful of reasons.

He was willing to keep his hopes up out of habit and stubbornness anyway. Feels nice to put some real meat back onto those bones.

And it probably means a lot that Wash is even telling him this. That's like a gesture of trust, right? Like a feral subway rat slowly reaching out to nab the Dorito that you kicked towards it. ]

If it means you're gonna be on my ass about my hug knowledge, maybe you should consider keeping the amnesia.

[ Nailed it. He's hilarious. ]

... look, that nosebleed thing in the infirmary kinda sucked, so, uh. Don't push the memory stuff too hard, y'know? Once we get rid of these Jorgmund fuckers, you're coming home with me anyway. No big deal.

[ Even if the memories aren't there, Wash still is. And Iris still is, and Carolina and Caboose and the Reds. Chorus. All the parts that make it home. Tucker will hog-tie the man and throw him into a shuttle if he has to.

It is actually a Huge Deal. ]

["Once we get rid of these Jorgmund fuckers, you're coming home with me anyway. No big deal."]

[It is a big deal. That he might never be the person Tucker remembers and would still be wanted. Welcomed.]

[It's another weight on the scale tilting the whole "working for Jorgmund" thing towards "to try to screw them over."]

[He gapes for a second. Then sounds a bit more like his usual self. Again.]

[He holds out his arms just slightly.]

I think I'm ready for that completely normal hug now.

[ First point of order: an eyeroll. ]

Now who's the smartass, smartass?

[ But something about the whole attitude makes it feel less weird to actually go in for the hug. Which is, to Tucker's credit, about as normal as anyone in the gang is capable of.

So kind of awkward, in that "this is not traditionally how we've done our brand of affection" way.

On the other hand, once upon a million years ago, Church used to whine his way into free piggyback rides in the name of science, so can Tucker say hugging a non-Junior person in the fashion of a normal person is the weirdest experience he has on record? At least he actually likes hugging when he gets around to it. ]

[It's awkward for Wash too. In part because even his current self is less used to affection with most of the guys due to their own discomfort with too much guy-on-guy anything, even if it's just platonic hugging. His affectionate side tends to come out most with Carolina, and now - shockingly - with Donut because they're more comfortable with it more often.]

[Less, well... repression.]

[But it's okay, as far as hugs go. It's affectionate but isn't too tight and doesn't last too long. Though his right hand seems to want to hold on longer than the rest of him, Wash manages to let go before it gets weird.]

Okay, how about now? Can you move?

[ Agent Washington, normal hugger. Somewhere, Caboose is jealous. Or, perhaps, extraordinarily sad.

Tucker takes a measured step back within the boundaries of his invisible cone of shame, reaches out, and immediately proceeds to knock against said cone of shame.

He rolls his eyes so hard it's a miracle he doesn't pull something. ]

Bullshit. [ No, that's not enough of a fit about it. He turns on his heel, locates the nearest questionably-functioning security camera, and flips it off just in case. He is compact for peak impotent rage. ] If Human Resources was good for anything, these assholes would be getting paperwork about this in triplicate!

[Wash cringes.]

Do you think maybe it'll accept a kiss on the cheek?

[Please let it accept a kiss on the cheek.]

Because we're pressing into territory where you're going to probably want a woman to do it, but paradoxically, it'll be harder for me to arrange for you.

'I need you to go kiss my friend because he's trapped by an invisible forcefield' sounds like the world's most far-fetched and insultingly fake wingman line.

Edited 2021-01-22 05:47 (UTC)

[ The Lavernius Tucker International Body Language Airport makes an executive move and shuts down all flights, ingoing or outgoing. Not a defensive squaring off that tends to accompany something like admitting to a vulnerable human emotion, not a swift and immediate gagfest.

Just a real strategic nonentity process. Like any cool normal person would do. Make it weird when it literally doesn't have to be.

Then he scrunches his face up and starts pacing. Some level of pissfit is avoided by the fact that Wash is a( Wash, and b) being pretty chill. ]

If you need a wingman to land a chick, you don't deserve to get her anyway.

[ This is not an answer. He knows this is not an answer. He's busy using his brain cell to think about the circumstances with undue intensity. Truly not a dilemma he has faced since the Blood Gulch dongle incident. ]

[Wash rolls his eyes at Tucker's tormented pacing around during one of the times he's looking away.]

Look, do you want me to go try to find someone else - a female someone else - or not? Yes or no question.

I don't mind doing it. I already did the hug. We could try the cheek first and if that doesn't work, keep it quick so it's not weird.

But if you're uncomfortable with that, I can go and ask around.

[ A man can't be tormented in his self-imposed cone of homophobia anymore. It's just shameful. (Source: Tucker, a moron.)

It's sort of the ultimate lose-lose. It's emotional math. The one math he's worse at than real math. He got stuck in the mistletoe, which is dumb, he did the hug, which was weird but not bad, that's all already on lock.

Option A is just do it, which is just doing it, and it's over in like 2 seconds anyway and it's just Wash. Literally the best option in his standard friend group as far as making this quick and painless goes. And. Also his only current friend group here.

And that frankly also technically counts as hitting out of his league. Which Tucker obviously never thinks about in regards to any guys, ever. Obviously. (Even though for the record, he's pretty sure that including Church, the only Red or Blue dudes out of his league are Wash and Donut.)

Option B, Wash has to go track down a chick of appropriate age range. Kind of a risk factor that a less guaranteed chill option accidentally rolls into the kiss zone.

Or Wash manages it, but it means a girl shows up who knows that Tucker was too much of a bitch to do the 2 seconds option, which is a really bad look for him. And despite all personal epiphanies and Kai flipping his own bullshit right back at him, he still can't stop himself from kneejerk giving a lot of shits about what people might think about him. To say nothing for the possibility that she changes her mind and Wash has to start the search cycle again. ]

Y'know what, don't. It's fine. Easy way out's always better.

[ That's real science. Now to calmly proceed with what he has accepted- ]

Ugh, it just pisses me off! [ Nope wait

He pulls up short in full, hands-on-hips, "rolled up to the PTA meeting via video conference with a vengeance because Becky wants to start shit about him buying all his kid's fundraiser candy himself" power stance. He thought he was chill, but the PTA energy took him. ]

I'm not good with authority, dude! And bullshit magic Jorgmund mistletoe that they don't do anything to fix is basically fifty percent trying to do authority! Like, at least get a CEO stuck in here to catch these fucking magic mistletoe hands.

[ The only people currently alive who are allowed to boss him around are Wash and Carolina, because they earned their rights. And sometimes Donut. And Kimball if she needs him for something, he guesses. The point is, he's discerning.

And maybe feels slightly less weird on principle just for complaining about something to an unimpressed Wash. That's a natural state to be in.

He might actually be more mad about that than he is default hopped up on his own no-homo? Is that right? It can't be. That's also too much math. ]

Really? Because I love authority.

[A slight raise of his eyebrow.]

Preaching to the choir. I'm the one you had to talk into a hug.

[But let it out, Tucker.]

We can make it fast and try to keep it from being a whole production.

[ Fair points. Like three whole ones. Of course they are.

What else would he expect from Wash? Considered with the fondest annoyance possible, of course. Not even the murky, too-familiar "missing his friend who is literally this exact person, except not really" version.

He does feel a little better after bitching about it, though. All that pent-up complaint energy, it's just not healthy. At what point in his entire stay here so far has he actually held back complaints, one might ask. He hasn't. Tucker simply feels like he must have been being very chill and reasonable all the time so far, because he wants to. ]

Yeah, okay, get back over here really quick. I actually kinda do have to pee now.

I'll try one on the cheek first because if we can avoid getting to first base that'd be great.

[For some reason the stupidity and absurdity of the situation feels...homey? All of a sudden. Having to get Tucker out of an absurd situation with an absurd solution doesn't feel that strange, as long as he's not super uncomfortable.]

[So he comes over and tries a little peck on the cheek and backs away.]

How about now?

[ Tucker takes time out of his day to look confused. It's a miracle the Stuff didn't just give him a power of manifesting the woman squinting with an algebra overlay meme in real life. Then-- ]

Ohhhhhhhhh, right. Dude, I totally forgot first and second base were even a thing. I always just sprinted for third.

[ Tucker, foregoing baseball in favor of a 100-meter dash approach. Historically placing poorly across his long and confusing career.

He was doing a little lean on the side of his invisible cone of deserved shame, which he also forgot about. Karma gets him back in that when it vanishes, he almost totally eats shit. Nailed it. ]

Yes. Fuck you, Jorgmund! You're lucky I don't pee on the floor anyway to make a point!

[ Tucker is so smart and cool, that's what this entire ordeal has proved. ]

Oh, and, uh. Thanks? I guess you can keep me on call if you need out of a stupid force field before any teenagers show up. Then if it didn't work, I could secure the perimeter until you got a grownup that plays ball. [ Sincerity??? In this Tucker? Probably on the list of things about today Tucker will go ahead and refuse to admit he is capable of.

Wash has reasonable brain cells and understands personal limits, and therefore he can have one whole passcode for lower-tier get out of jail free affection. He is the only dude on the Rig for whom Tucker will currently reserve that..... "honor." ]

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HARK! How the bells, sweet silver bells...

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