goneawayworld | 🟆004🟆

Entry tags:

adora,
tenten

🟆004🟆

Who: Tenten AND YOU!
What: Fortune Telling, Library Research
Where: THE LIBRARY!
When: Midweek, whenever
Warnings/Notes: Will add if they become necessary.

Tenten's days have fallen into a standard schedule, after all the drama of the recent months. Of course there's the long times spent at the gym. And her time spent in therapy. She's grown an odd habit of moving her head from side to side minutely, but whatever clumsiness cursed her recently, she's almost back to normal. Perhaps she was simply taking up Catra's hidden cache of kush too often.

When she isn't doing work or one of those things, she's often disappeared, pulling aside various New Hires for odd requests and secret projects. But, for today at least, there's none of that. Today finds her in the library, throwing three coins over and over and making notes on their results. None of her chosen books seem to be about the coins, though, they're all things on military tactics, poetry, and chemistry.

She flips the coins again and draws a face when one of them rolls off the table. She leans over the table and points, calling out. "Hey! Did that land with writing side up or the blank side up?"

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"Yeah, I think it just told me what I wanted to hear anyway."

Tenten's fine as Adora sits, but when she finishes, Tenten can't help but flinch. Just a little. And then she's back to normal. "So, um. Catra told you, I'm guessing?" She'd kind of hoped the older girl wouldn't. Even though Tenten was totally fine with just being friends, the way she'd confessed, the fact that Catra had so easily maneuvered her into it, would always be something she kicked herself over.

Adora winces sympathetically when she sees Tenten flinch. Yeah, they both know what this is about. She takes a deep breath and then nods.

"Yeah, Catra told me that you... uh. Confessed to her. So I thought I should... talk to you about it. I just want to figure things out."

She sighs, burying her face in her hands. "Sorry. I wouldn't have said anything, she just." Ugh. "It was those dumb mistletoe things."

Tenten leans back with a groan and shakes her head before sitting up and giving Adora a sad glance. "Yeah, I'm in love with your girlfriend. But we both know that you're the one who'll come first in her heart. Always." As much as it hurts to admit. She smiles a little. "I'm not going to be stupid and try to steal your girlfriend. I'm fine with being her friend. As long as I can have that, that's all I could ask for."

Her smile fades and she knots her fingers in front of her. "Um. I was kind of hoping that wouldn't be a problem with you, though."

"Teten-" Adora reaches out across the table to take hold of Tenten's arm and squeeze, "It's not a problem. A lot of the time we can't help how we feel about people. Emotions... they sneak up on us sometimes."

She offers a smile, even if it's a bit weak.

"I'm just... I guess I'm trying to figure out how to make it... not... awkward? Because I know Catra and I - we both like you."

She laughs a little. Not harshly, just. She'd played out this conversation in her head a few times and, so far, it matches up pretty well. "If you need me to back off a little, I can. I don't think any of us wants that, though." She reaches up, patting Adora's hand. "I'd like for us to still be friends. I can promise you now, I'll never try to come between the two of you. I don't think I could."

She still remembers Catra, stumbling across her with Saturday, naked and bloody, and the immediate cries for Adora until Saturday forced her to pay attention to Tenten. No, there was no way she'd ever manage to find a crack in that bond. Even if she could, that wasn't how she wanted to be. Ino and Sakura used to play the love is war game enough, but Tenten was sick of just watching it from the sidelines, she refused to enter that battlefield herself.

"You don't need to back away from us. I'm pretty sure that's the last thing Catra or I would want! If you need to do it for you, do it. But don't do it just because you think that's what we want."

Adora's heart breaks a little. She doesn't want Tenten to be upset, but... maybe it can't be helped.

"Backing away from you isn't what I want, either! I'm just, you know." She rubs the back of her neck. "I don't want you to feel awkward. I don't really know what to do, I've never really been in love before."

The smile Tenten gives her friend is a little lopsided, with little joy behind it. "I won't say that doesn't hurt. But I don't want to cause you any trouble. I kind of had this chat with Catra the other night. I love you, I'm in love with her. And I want both of you to be happy. I'm glad you're making her happy, and the reverse. I just-I don't know what to do, you know? I can keep saying I want things to be normal until I'm blue in the face, but they don't feel normal now that you two know."

And the fact that Adora felt the need to track her down just makes her worry that Adora's feeling that it is strange. Despite words to the contrary.

"We can figure it out. I don't... I don't want you to feel uncomfortable or awkward. I don't think you having these feelings is bad or anything - honestly, I'm kind of impressed that Catra let you get that close in the first place. You mean a lot to her. Even if she doesn't say it."

Adora's still trying to puzzle out her feelings, but she knows that she wants everyone around her to be happy.

Tenten shakes her head with a little shrug. "We can want and we can want, but that doesn't change the reality. We're feeling awkward. I'm okay with the way things are, you're obviously not." Otherwise, why come to Tenten now? Why alone?

She leans forward and pokes a finger at Adora. Not insistently, just refocusing the conversation on her. "What do you want, Adora? You say you want us to be happy, but that's just you being you. Unselfish and giving. Take a second, close your eyes, and listen to your heart for a moment, then tell me what feels honest. Even if it's just a repeat that you want everyone happy. But you've got to remember, your happiness matters. To both of us."

She leans back in her seat, folding her arms over her chest. "We've got three people who'd step in front of an arrow for either one of the others. But the difference is that you're a hero. Sacrifice comes second nature for you. That doesn't mean you need to set everything aside for the happiness of your friends. Because we love you, because I'm your friend, I want to know what would make you honestly and truly the happiest. It won't offend me, no matter what."

It might hurt. But she wouldn't allow it to offend her.

Adora looks a little taken aback by what Tenten's saying and she shifts in her seat, leaning back a little as her lips tip into a slight frown. She's not sure she likes where this is going. Or what Tenten is trying to say.

"Tenten, you and Catra being happy makes me happy. That's all there is to it. There's nothing more to it! I don't need to hear about sacrifice and heroism here - this isn't about any of that."

"Suppose I say that what would make me happy is for you to step aside and let me date Catra? And that I could make her just as happy as you?" She holds up a hand, palm out, and shakes her head. "Understand I'm not saying that. But if you had a burst of anything when I asked that, you need to stop and re-examine yourself because you're not being honest. Not with you and not with me."

"And the Adora I call 'friend' hasn't lied to me yet."

"Then... I don't know," Adora replies, sounding a little defensive. She doesn't like the way that Tenten is pushing her like this. What's the point? Why does any of this matter? She's doing her best. She's trying to be the best that she can be.

"If Catra actually wanted to be with you, then she'd be with you. That's all there is to it."

"Then do what I asked. Think and care about yourself. Because if you're as dishonest with Catra as you are with yourself, you're going to lose her. Not to me, maybe." Tenten stands, starting to collect her books and her coins.

"Until then, enjoy what you have. Because you're going to hurt her. And I hope I'm not there for that, because it'd be unforgivable."

"What's wrong with you?" Adora snaps in reply, "Why are you being like this?"

"Because you're lying to me," she roars back. "You're lying to me, you're lying to Catra, and worst of all, you're lying to yourself. And as the final insult, you're doing it because you care about us and you want us to be happy. But what about you? What if we want Adora to be happy? What happened when Catra told you I loved her? Did she tell you that she might love me, too? Did she mention curling up in my arms and purring?" She jabs a finger At Adora with every question, not holding back her frustration now.

"Did you feel nothing? No little hint of hurt? Not a sprig of jealousy? Or did you lie about that because you wanted to show you trusted her?" She stands there, practically vibrating as she glares at Adora, her voice lowering into a furious little whip. "You want us all to be happy, that's fine! But we want you to be happy and you refuse to take when we try to give! Don't you see why that hurts us? Hasn't there been communications issues enough between you and Catra without dragging me into it?"

"I'm not lying!" Adora sounds more shocked and hurt about that accusation than anything else and she pushes back from the table, the chair scraping against the floor. Her hands slam into the table and she glares at Tenten, trying to figure out how she feels about the barrage of words that have been unloaded on her.

"I don't get this! I don't get you! I'm here trying to make sure you're OK and you decide to - to what? Tell me that I don't know what's good for me? I know how to talk to Catra! She told me she was trying to figure out how she felt-!"

The purring is a new one and Adora might be lying if she wasn't a little bit jealous, but - but it was good that Catra was finding other people. It was good that Catra was getting comfortable with other people. It was good that Catra was finding some sort of happiness and Adora doesn't feel the need to worry about it or where she necessarily fits in.

Because at the end of the day, she's going to be doing what's best for everyone.

"If anything, you dragged yourself into this by confessing!" Which is... true and also hurtful, but Adora's angry and hurt and trying to figure out where all of this suddenly came from.

"Don't try to tell me that I'm somehow sabotaging myself just because you don't understand!"

"You don't even see it! Why can't you just stop and try to see the damage you risk doing?" As if Tenten weren't doing the same with her typical no-nonsense ham fisted approach. It's necessary with the thick skulls back home, but Adora needed a different approach.

Something Tenten will realize a few hours from now.

She blinks, pulling back at the confession line. That hurt, but the thin smile that ghosts across her face is more because at least that's something. "I couldn't help that! It was either I confess or we kiss, and Catra-well. She didn't want to kiss." She pushes a hand through the air, as if shoving the topic aside. "But that's beside the point!"

"The damage I risk doing? I don't need this!"

Adora's hands have curled into fists and she gives Tenten a withering look, frustration, anger, and hurt written all over her features.

"I'm not going to talk about this anymore. Not with you."

She turns on her heel to start stalking off, the line of her shoulders tense.

Tenten doesn't say anything. If Adora's not an idiot, she won't need to. She can examine her own emotions now that it's been pointed out to her. Right?

Besides, Catra's probably going to either thank her or pop her head off. She pulls out her comm to give the older girl a heads up.

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🟆004🟆

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