What Do You Normally Do When I'm Gone?

[runes_brand]

Who: Brand & you!
What: Rune goes home. Brand reacts.
Where: Around the Rig
When: After Honeyplank & the Riot
Warnings/Notes: Brand-typical swearing, TBA

Brand is on his way to lunch when the bottom drops out of his world. Between one moment and the next, Rune is gone.

Rune's not dead, he tells himself over the hammering of his heart. He's not dead, he's fine, he's fine, he's back home, he's with Addam and the kids, he's fine--

He's running before he even realizes he's in motion, though he's not sure where. Toward the hole in the center of him, probably.

He's fine, he's fine, he's fine, he's fine...

--

He stuffs Rune's sheets in the vents so that Jorgmund can't take them and toss them in the wash. They're sweaty and gross, Rune runs hot at the best of times, but Brand isn't thinking straight. He's desperate to keep what he's got. How long is he going to be kept here alone? Rune said he'd been here a month before Brand showed up, was he going to be here long enough to even them out? Longer?

Bile rises in his throat, along with the urge to scream. He hates this. He hates being separated from Rune, he's always hated it; everything feels sharp and bruised and wrong when he can't feel Rune's existence on the other end of their Companion bond. He doesn't know how Corinne did it when Kevan died, he doesn't want to know.

He wants Rune. Fuck, he just wants Rune.

He leaves their his their bunk to go find somewhere else to hide. He can't be here right now.

Comments

[runes_brand]

Brand's still wild around the eyes when he all-but collides with Dan -- which is an indicator in and of itself how out of it he is. Brand doesn't run into people on accident. On purpose, sure, but not by accident.

"Oh. Right. Food." Fuck, he doesn't know if he can stomach food right now. Last time he'd been cut off from Rune, his stomach hadn't fully settled until he was back with Rune again. He fucking hates feeling like this. "Thanks."

[hallelujahjunction]

"Anytime." Dan steps out of the way quick enough that he and Brand avoid a straight up crash, shoulder-checking the wall as he does.

It's hard to tell the difference between someone so overwhelmed they need to just get away from any and all stimulation, and someone so overwhelmed they need someone to hold them down and ensure that they don't do anything reckless or stupid. Dan's been both of those things many, many times, so he likes to think he's informed enough to be confident asking to follow Brand around.

"Hey, would it bring you any relief to beat the everloving shit out of one of those robot tackling dummies at the gym?"

[runes_brand]

Yet another fucking reason Brand hates this is that it makes dealing with people even worse. He's ready to pull the fire alarm (for tactical reasons, and he's only done it once) because there are too many people at the coffee shop on his best days. Rune's been a clingy bastard since infancy and Brand loves him more than anything, but the two of them would still commit acts of violence if they had to be in the same room all the time.

But when the white noise of Rune's existence vanishes into an all-devouring void, Brand is torn between holing up in a defensible position and latching onto the nearest remotely tolerable person because, fuck, he's more alone than he should be allowed to be.

Fuck, Dan asked him a question and he's just been staring into space.

"No, that's not going to help," he says. It occurs to him, dimly, that Dan must know that Rune's not here if he's talking about Brand needing 'relief'. "There's a...hole...where Rune should be. It's distracting."

Ugh, fuck words, that doesn't even begin to describe the problem.

[hallelujahjunction]

"Alright." Dan knows how that feels. Maybe not the bond Rune and Brand share - shared? - but the vortex inside that sucks away your ability to pay attention to anything but missing someone. And he knows of only one way to handle it, the way he's always handled anything.

"You need ideas for a more distracting distraction?"

[runes_brand]

It almost makes Brand want to laugh. Almost.

"Unless it could fucking distract someone who's just lost a leg, it's not going to work," he says. "Last time this happened, I couldn't fucking sleep. Rune's--"

Rune's a hell of a lot more functional when something interferes with their Companion bond. Brand cuts himself off, swallows hard.

"It's not Rune's job to take care of me, it's mine to take care of him."