poor_unlucky_girl (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
poor_unlucky_girl) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
goneawayworld2021-06-02 08:13 pm
poor_unlucky_girl) wrote in goneawayworld2021-06-02 08:13 pm
Let's get the party started!
Who: Everyone including YOU
What: Pride month celebration!
Where: Mess hall
When: First weekend of June, after the brain quest.
Warnings/Notes: Probably alcohol, language, might lead to sexy stuff
Ah yes, Jennifer is in pure delight. Back in her day, this wasn't a thing and now not only she, who will romanticize everything, gets to celebrate love, she gets to witness people be happy as they celebrate with her. She waves happily at whoever enters and nods towards all the available material.
There is indeed lots of booze, which one wouldn't expect from Jennifer but hey, Price helped. There's rainbow cake, and biscuits with the flags on it. Before everyone arrives she innocently asks one of the staff members in the kitchen if she can eat a lesbian one. There's a box with pins and facepaints. Some people are sporting funny or sexy costumes. She is wears her usual hairdo, but decorates it with a rose, paired with a simple white dress. She drinks her tea and is happy, and just a little bit too clueless of what can happen during these kinds of celebrations...
What: Pride month celebration!
Where: Mess hall
When: First weekend of June, after the brain quest.
Warnings/Notes: Probably alcohol, language, might lead to sexy stuff
Ah yes, Jennifer is in pure delight. Back in her day, this wasn't a thing and now not only she, who will romanticize everything, gets to celebrate love, she gets to witness people be happy as they celebrate with her. She waves happily at whoever enters and nods towards all the available material.
There is indeed lots of booze, which one wouldn't expect from Jennifer but hey, Price helped. There's rainbow cake, and biscuits with the flags on it. Before everyone arrives she innocently asks one of the staff members in the kitchen if she can eat a lesbian one. There's a box with pins and facepaints. Some people are sporting funny or sexy costumes. She is wears her usual hairdo, but decorates it with a rose, paired with a simple white dress. She drinks her tea and is happy, and just a little bit too clueless of what can happen during these kinds of celebrations...
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Price shrugs. He looks down at the bottle for a moment and drinks again. He can perceive that Dan is trying to change the topic, somehow.
"So, what have you been up to lately?"
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“Honestly? Wishing I could just take off and be five thousand miles from almost everyone else on here. And keeping my sharp shooting skills honed. You have to be real calm and steady to do trick shots, so it’s good meditation.”
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"It's very sweet."
He swallows loudly.
"Oh. Well, it's good that you are practising. Focusing on one's skills can be productive and healthy."
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He sounds rueful about that. Dan prefers getting into trouble.
"I wasn't joking about being open to hooking up, you know," he says, deciding to just get direct.
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"ExCUse me?!" his voice gets louder for just a moment.
He tries to say something else but just mumbles incoherently. He's flustered, this is very wrong, it has to be.
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Price blushes incontrollably. Yes, he's shy. Believe it or not, he's more comfortable hooking up with who makes it clear from the beginning they see him as prey. It's just how it works, how it's supposed to work. Dan is kind of a wild card, under certain aspects. The fact that he even said that he cared is just-- It's strange. Doesn't help that Dan is so handsome and if only Price was thirty or at least twenty-five years younger they'd be a perfect match for the night.
"I...Ah...I see. Don't worry, it's fine, it's fi--"
The nervousness makes him drop the bottle, spilling its content pretty much everywhere.
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Dan near leaps out of his skin at the bottle falling. He's always so much jumpier than his laidback demeanor hints at, and he hops off the bed and grabs a towel and starts to sop up the alcohol.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to put you on the spot. Just the Pride party put ideas in my head, I reckon. Didn't mean to waste good liquor."
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The Pride party put ideas in his head? What's that supposed to mean? Price has never even thought of trying to seduce him in any way. He has noticed Dan's attractive everything, of course, he's not blind, but there are several factors (Dan being younger, his powers, having to walk on eggshells because of him, and Price just feeling repulsive in general) that make this situation a turn off and overall he thinks that this would be something best fulfilled with an alone time fantasy rather than the actual deal. It would complicate so many things. Basically it's a no but he actually wants it, it's a 'it's better if we don't do it' rather than 'I don't want to do it', but the reasons for it concern him too much and he would rather stay silent than voice said concerns and be vulnerable even if it leads to
falsereassurance."It's just that I did not expect that."
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Dan generally doesn't push a rejection; that is, after all, a fantastic way to cross the line between interested in others and rude, uncomfortable, objectifying. He usually just signals his interest and, if it isn't picked up immediately, moves on to the next person who might be down.
"Why didn't you expect it?" Dan puts some more pieces of glass in the trashcan. There's no accusation embedded; he isn't accusing Price of leading him on, simply explaining so Price can tell him off for misreading in the most accurate place. "You know what I'm like, I've offered before, you're attractive, we're both drinking, you invited me back to your room."
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He tries to deflect. He feels silly looking at himself panic like this, but who knows. He wants to secure a bond, but also to destroy it, he likes everyone but also hates everyone, there are so many polar opposites of emotions inside of him and nothing that is even remotely balanced. Curiosity, boredom, anger, sadness, whatever feeling he gets? It's just a basic feeling that spirals and becomes bigger, perhaps to compensate for some of the smaller nuanced ones that he isn't capable of feeling. So in a situation where there is no concrete goal or side, what is he supposed to base his decisions on? Everything is so fickle.
"Ah!" he hisses and then whines softly as he hurts himself with a shard of glass in an attempt to pick it up.
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"Let me finish cleaning up." Dan shows his hand to Price, his hand that's covered in pocks from gunpowder and scars from decades of manual labor. "You got nice hands. Mine can take a bit of a beating."
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"Come on, we will clean up later."
He says, pulling Dan's hands away instinctively. He lets go off them immediately as he realizes that oh no, there was contact, so Dan may or may not have felt that he's...Impacted by that sight, yes. Also, he realizes that if he's suggesting to clean later he's supposed to have an idea on what to do now.
"Heh. Would you...Like to go somewhere?"
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Dan sweeps the remaining shard aside and under the bed, spreads the soaked towel over the place of the broken bottle so any remaining slivers are covered. He doesn’t use his power.
“Where are you thinking?”
lost a couple (of dozens) of braincells typing this rationalization, enjoy
He almost forgot about him. They kind of found this unspoken system for which they try to participate in missions separately so that one is out fighting and the other is on the Rig and can enjoy the room for himself. Meaning that they haven't actively discussed who gets the top bunk and who gets the bottom bunk. Meaning that since they tend to sleep here only one at a time and that no one takes the top bunk if they are alone, Dan got glitter all over Tucker's bed.
Leaving glitter only in 'Tucker's bed' would be such a rude move to do for no reason that would be misinterpreted as the start of some roommate war or confrontation. Having sex with Dan on Tucker's bed would have glitter as a mere consequence, also Tucker is constantly preaching the importance of getting laid and while he doesn't practise what he preaches someone has to. Dan clearly wants to commit a horrible mistake (stupid Dan), Price himself wants to pretend that he's loveable - and beautiful, why does nobody acknowledge that he is beautiful?! Well, Dan just did, but...Still, no one seems to acknowledge his positive qualities and he knows that Dan is either lying to get in his pants or simply doesn't know any better but he might as well enjoy it while it lasts.
Oh God, what if it's a bet between Dan and his friends? Ha-ha, go to Price and blatantly lie to him, tell him that he's not becoming old and ugly and stupid, that he's not worthless and that it would absolutely be a bad thing if he died. Oh, and remember to get in his pants because it's some kind of conquest doing it to someone so repulsive and only someone brave and reckless like you can do it, huh?! That makes perfect sense, Dan, you piece of shit. Oh, but he's so hot...
Well, if it is a bet then it will be perfectly understandable if he decides to kill everyone. Others will agree and let him, also because they're going to get a laser in the face too if they don't. Yes. Yes, this another potential benefit, he's going for it.
"I was reflecting over the fact that I haven't had the opportunity to admire the roof and the sky at night yet, I figured it would be an interesting sight. Especially if paired with a good friend and a good liquor."
He replies completely calmly, sounding formal as usual.
"...I do however have to consider that, come to think about it, Captain Tucker recently left to partake on a mission so he is not likely to return today, if you want to stay here."
Smooth.
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Dan tries not to let it show so much on his face that he's puzzling Price out. Obviously Price is insecure - no one sabotages everything so compulsively as Price does if they aren't trying to secure their sense of control over things that can't be controlled - and Dan figures Price is flipping between thinking Dan's an idiot and thinking Dan's got a forgotten arm he's going to sucker Price with. Dan would prefer Price think the former. Dan's an idiot falls much closer to the truth - that Dan's just bored and self-destructive and horny - than the latter, and Dan tends to thrive on being underestimated.
Dan gets back on that lower bunk and spreads out, resting his hand on his head. "What are we going to do if we stay here in the dorm room?"
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For at least the last ten years, his demeanour made it so that everyone desexualized him completely. It wasn't intentional, but as he found out he perpetuated it because he was convenient. He didn't necessarily like it, but he got used to it, so someone seeing him as something other than his job feels strange. Especially since he desperately wants to be that person again, since he was at peak performance and peak happiness. Maybe Dan will just do it with everything that breathes, fine, but it's still concerning.
"We can cuddle," Price lays next to him, he doesn't necessarily mean it as a eufemism, it's more of a 'let's start slowly and see how I feel about it' "if that is alright with you."
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Dan's not a big fan of cuddling unless it's with Bunny; he generally considers it a sort of social tax he willingly pays in exchange for a roll in the hay, going through the motions of intimacy so no feelings are hurt in Dan's pursuit of a sexual encounter. But he does want Price to be comfortable, whether they end up sleeping together or not, and he suspects that to shoot Price down here would fuel Price's insecurities some way or another.
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The last time he cuddled with someone was with a friend he made after he got divorced, which was twenty years ago. No one has been soft with him ever since. Well, no one except for Dan.
He shifts, hugging Dan from the side. He rubs his face on Dan's chest like a cat, then rests it to listen to Dan's heartbeat because he's curious about it.
He doesn't know what to think of all the understanding that he's offered, and while he's afraid of it he can't help but seek it, seek the reassurance, seek some sort of love although he knows he won't have it. Everything is slipping right through his fingers and he wishes Dan could somehow convince him otherwise, all while actively fearing the idea that if he wanted he could make it worse very easily.
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He's a good cuddler, gently running his hand over Price's hair, pulling him into an embrace. He's relatively certain that this kind of positive touch isn't something Price has had since getting to the Rig, given that Dan seems to be the only person having a meaningful positive relationship with the Counselor. He wonders if a happier version of the Counselor - one who still was finding purpose, at least, in the evil designs of Project Freelancer - had more touch in his life.
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Studying and torturing everyone was so much closer to the traditional love he was unable to give. The pure devotion, attention, care that it took. It was a form of worship, in exchange for them giving him their entire being as they begged him to ease the pain not in a close minded and selfish way, rather in a deep and intimate way, grasping at his hand to be led down the path of self discovery. It was like setting off a firework: you destroy something, it emits its pained whistle, but then it explodes and culminates in a beautiful spectrum of colours, drawing petals of this majestic flower that blossoms and keeps expanding until it disappears, and it's right because it disappears so soon that it is beautiful, because you have to catch the moment, and no moment is ever as intense as the last one. That's why the light in people's eyes is such a treasure.
The Director more than everybody else gave him this thrill, because he teased him. He let him in on his most precious, glorious, genius idea and allowed him to assist him, to witness him, to experience him in this indirect way that became more and more direct as the Director's addiction grew. It felt like a one night stand that they both knew was damaging but it was so good they just had to come back to it and repeat it, repeat it, repeat it.
Price always liked to think that the Director was attracted to him right for this reason and was in complete denial because he was in too deep in 'doing it for this wife' that it was the only way he could justify it to himself. Price liked to lie to himself, yes, the Director didn't care about him, but that remote possibility enticed him because come on, the man gave him everything: a place to live, a role in making a great discovery, a redemption as they were going to save the galaxy, a family, an army of interesting people, and toys. There was only one thing missing, and if that was fulfilled too it would have been better than Price's 'great love' back when he was married, because the Director needed him as he is even while being so full of emotions, unlike everybody else the more that man got filthy the more he got purer, which made Price the perfect fit for him. Or at least, in Price's special conception of love. He felt perfect and beautiful when he was trusted with everyone's pretty emotions.
Then it all went out of hand and everything was yanked away from him, and the Director ratted him out. That's some recognition for someone who's lived with you for ten years, obeyed your every order, and took care of you and your daughter more than your wife ever did! Ungrateful bastard...
He thinks of him, then he thinks of Wrath who was so quick to judge him because of his involvement with Project Freelancer (being completely right about it) and then suddenly telling him she was wrong about him because he was nice to her and helped her make a cake. Of course she disappeared from the Rig and he never saw her again, God forbid he gets to have friends. Not a problem, though, she was fooled by some gesture and he would have had to walk on eggshells to secure whatever bond with her, so maybe it was for the best, and as for Dan...
Well, he feels like Dan is somewhere halfway through those two cases, and it's very confusing. Does Dan need him as he is for real? Or is he just fooling him to turn it against him later, like in some sort of cruel test where he has to second guess everything he says, thinks, and does? It's scary. Oh, but the way Dan strokes his hair feels very nice. It makes him feel a tingle that goes down to his back to the rest of his body, and his breath hitches. Then he hums to communicate his enjoyment. He looks up at Dan, and timidly kisses his cheek.
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Except to an extent, it isn't. Dan does care about Price, not romantically - Dan knows what romance feels like now, he can tell the difference - and as such, there are higher stakes to this. He could end up hurting Price's feelings. Price could end up reading more into it than Dan means. Dan can't just slip out and never see Price again when this is done, because Dan is on the Rig, and it goes two miles an hour and you can never get away from it.
But the chance of things going wrong makes it fun, in a way, to Dan. He's morbidly curious what the worst that could happen is. He knows he's the child with a fork and an electrical outlet, and at least that's more interesting and tolerable than just sitting in his feelings of alienation and misunderstoodness, exploitedness.
He kisses Price back, on the mouth.
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It's not a secret that Dan is self destructive, that he finds solace in reckless activities to get something temporary to excite him or numb him just as long as it distracts him. He doesn't care about guarding himself from pain, which makes Price wonder if Dan is actively asking to be hurt. He doesn't mind complying, but he wishes Dan - or anyone, really - could see that just because he was tasked with breaking people it doesn't mean that he is not capable of fixing them and helping them, he wishes Dan could confirm his almost delusional idea that he is capable of doing things right, of doing 'good'.
He slowly starts reciprocating more intensely. Not sloppily, but somehow desperately, with Dan holding him like that the arousal is starting to become more than a fleeting thought. He suspects that Dan will regret this soon and that the possibilty of regretting it is exactly what's fueling him. Which is exciting, but he wishes he could aspire to be more than someone's mistake.
fade 2 black
When this is over, they'll cuddle a little while longer, and then Dan will excuse himself back to the party, and then avoid Price like he's been avoiding everyone for weeks.