🟆002🟆

[71lines]

Who: Catra, Dave, and Tenten
What: Late night kitchen shenanigans!
Where: The Rig's cafeteria
When: Weh
Warnings/Notes: I mean, Dave's involved, so there oughta be something here.

Tenten had meant to do a bit of recon. She really had. But her free time had been eaten up by extra chores, a result of an unfortunate incident where she'd managed to throw a rather swollen Stuff-body into a group of middle-managers having a smoke break. They didn't appreciate the splatter zone, so she'd been stuck out there for the past two days, doing more grunt work than anything else. Really, she just wants to sleep.

But she'd told Catra "One or two nights" and there they were.

She'd mentioned to Catra to be ready beforehand, she didn't want to wake up Setsuna by accident, and now they were wandering the dark halls at night. Tenten couldn't see, the light levels were just too low even if she used chakra, but she'd already memorized the way there. Just about two more turns and then they could worry about finding a way from the cafeteria into the kitchen.

...Wait, was that the glow of the mess lights on 'low' there?

Comments

[heterochrocatic]

"Shut it, smartass," Catra snaps at Dave. His amusement at her attire kills her amused laughter and she hurriedly shucks off gloves, hairnet, and so forth to be dropped into the nearest trash can.

"They said they didn't want me to get fur in the food, that's all," she adds after a moment. Then:

"I've never cooked before. Tenten was showing me."

[turntex]

The look Dave shoots Tenten is exasperated, almost helpless, as Catra's mood sours and she dumps all her cooking attire.

"I did say 'nice', didn't I? I'm pretty sure that's the word that came out of my mouth. Does 'nice' mean something else around here? You gotta let me know right now before I really step in some shit and get something worse than a wooden spoon chucked at me."

He shrugs and just leans in to peer at their handiwork. It's way more homey and cozy-looking than any meal he's ever eaten, at least. His stomach suddenly reminds him of what he actually came here for and he fights to keep an impassive face.

"I mean, y'all did better than I would have," he says. "Not like I've ever managed anything fancier than a Hot Pocket. You used a stove and everything, damn."

[71lines]

"It did sound a little sarcastic." Just a smidge. A tad. But, and this is just going off of her limited exposure to him, she's pretty sure that whatever he says is going to sound slightly sarcastic half the time. He probably couldn't help it.

"Anyhow, I mainly just helped a bit. Catra did most of the work on this one." It was true! Mostly. Sure, Tenten had separated some stuff, but Catra did do a load of grunt work. "We were just finishing up and, well." There's a slight shrug. There's not a whole lot of question as to what's on Dave's mind now, even as impassive as he was. What other reason would someone have for coming to the kitchen at night?

...Wait a minute. "Say, Dave. How long have you known that the night staff was totally fine with us being in here?"

[heterochrocatic]

"Pretty sure we have to offer some up to the staff as tribute," Catra says with a drawl, "but I don't think we can eat this whole thing between us. Since I assume you're gonna ask if you can have some." As she speaks a couple members of staff are already helping themselves to samples of both chicken and soup and making approving noises between themselves.

"Wait, yeah, good question. We thought we were going to have to sneak in here."

[turntex]

He shrinks back a bit under the combined callouts, frowning. He lifts his hands all I am defenseless here, chill out as he sidesteps to let the staff better access the food.

"Woah, hey. I only realized they didn't care like, yesterday," he says. "I was sneaking around like a goddamn French orphan before that, all snaggin' unattended bags of chips and fucking off into the night before Inspector Javert can beat my ass. Turns out none of the regular staff around here give a shit. At least y'all figured it out right away, I spent a few nights being all stealthy about it and probably looking like an asshole, stealing shit literally no one was trying to prevent from getting stolen. Good job, Dave, master criminal right there, those kitchen staffers never knew what hit them or particlarly cared."

[71lines]

The night staff isn't full of big eaters, at least, they just want a sample. Whether to steal ideas or just because they're so bored of the current menus that any change is new and interesting, it's not clear. And it probably doesn't matter.

Tenten sighs a little, massaging the bridge of her nose. Dave's story has a few holes in it, sure, but why would anyone just make themselves seem that pathetic? It was honestly a little sad. She gives Catra a look and shrugs. Tenten wasn't going to complain about her offering Dave any. It was a whole lot of food. "Well, we can let Catra have first picks out of our part since she did most of the work. But if she's fine with it, feel free to get something more nutritious than a potato chip. I swear, it feels like someone's into those wherever I turn..."

[heterochrocatic]

"There's an inspector here? I better watch myself," Catra says laconically as she leans against the counter.

"But yeah. You can have some if you want. Not like I can eat it all myself--and where am I gonna stash it?" At the mention that she gets 'first pick' Catra is off like a shot to fetch herself a plate, bowl, and nother necessary utensils. She returns with enough for all three (how thoughtful). Leaving the others to divvy up the remaining plates and bowls between them, she gives herself a heaping spoonful of chicken and digs in without preamble. Nomf.

"S'good," she mutters around the mouthful. "This is the best thing I've ever eaten..."

[turntex]

"My heroes." He's as deadpan as ever, but the subtle way he perks up suggests excitement despite his tone. Still, he waits for Catra to take her pick first. He's a gentleman like that.

As soon as she's got her serving, though, it's free game. Dave skips the plate and bowl rigamarole and just snags a leftover fork one of the kitchen staffers had been using to sample shit. Less dishes to wash afterwards anyway, right? He just snags a mouthful straight off the serving platter.

"Fuck," he mumbles through a mouthful. It's not rude if Catra did it first. "Be my mom. Or moms, I guess. Plural. Is marriage a requirement for multi-parent scenarios? Y'all are down for that, right? I'll happily wear a suit and toss some flower petals around if it means this happens more often."

In case his rambling didn't quite communicate the point to people not used to his brand of nonsense, the eager second and third forkfuls suggest that yeah, he agrees with Catra's assessment of the meal.

[71lines]

"I guess Jorgmund needs someone to do the detective work on broken rules." She hadn't seen Javert, but he's probably around somewhere and she just hadn't met him. Tenten makes a note to keep an eye out.

Tenten opts to go for a bowl of soup first. The egg is thick and lumped, not the thin, delicate ribbons she'd wanted at all, but mistakes happened. And it was still tasty. She takes a little bit of pride in the compliments, as exaggerated as they probably were, and gives a little shrug. She couldn't take too much credit, not when Catra had done so much of the work. "I don't marry people on the first date, sorry Catra." She offers a little half-smile and shrugs, sipping at her soup again. "But, yeah, sometimes the simple things are the best after a long day."

She pauses, staring wistfully in the direction of their food storage areas. "...I wonder how strict their inventories are?"

[heterochrocatic]

"Not saying I don't like you Tenten, but you're not my type." Small and slender and all that. Really, tall girls are where it's at. Not that she would ever say it out loud, but hey. That train of thought slips away as she continues to dig into her food with haste.

"Besides, I'm not really a 'mom' type. I don't even know what it's like to have one let alone be one," Catra says to Dave with a shrug of shoulders.

"Can't believe I made this," She mutters after a moment, laughs. "And probably strict enough that if we do this every night they'll catch on quick. I know what you're thinking, though..."

[turntex]

Huh. Tactfully (for once), he lets the 'mom' bit drop. That's just...y'know. Kinda heavy for a spontaneous late night chowdown. Maybe in better circumstances that would actually be ideal for some deep bonding time, but it just seems kinda awkward to get into that kind of thing with these kitchen staffers still puttering about.

"Oh shit," Dave deadpans instead. "Rejected. It's cool, though. Better you hear it now than later. Plenty of fish in the sea and all that, even considering the sea in this case is a post-apocalyptic forced labor caravan."

Nabbing an abandoned spoon, Dave clearly doesn't seem to mind the lumpy eggs as he steals a mouthful from the pot. It still absorbed the soup flavor and all that. Still more effort than he's ever put into a meal before.

"But yeah. Probably better off saving the five star meals for special occasions. Stifle that urge to just go full Food Network in here and settle for little shit that'll last if you wanna stock it away for later." Another slurping spoonful, and he adds pointedly, "Y'know. Like chips."

[71lines]

Tenten places a hand on her chest as if wounded and sighs. "I'll die an old maid, then. Alone and unloved." Which, well, was probably going to be true anyway, except the 'old' part, but she can still say it with a smile.

She drains her bowl, letting the mom conversation slide around her. Sounded like none of them had a whole lot of experience in that area, so why underline it? It wasn't like it would change anything, after all. Instead, she'll move on to the chicken stir fry.

Dave's comment, though, gets a blank little stare. "Why would it go bad?" She forks a bit of tomato and mushroom into her mouth and chews, swallowing quickly. "I'm a ninja." Why did people not get what that entailed? She waves at the remaining food with her fork. "If I store it somewhere, it'll stay fresh until I need it. It's not like I'd be just hiding a head of cabbage in a closet or something."

[heterochrocatic]

"Neat," Catra says. "Being able to keep food fresh is useful."

"I should probably pinch some stuff to hide in my room. Even if I can get here to make food I, uh..." She pauses. Admitting that she had a weakness seemed dangerous, usually. But not knowing how to cook wasn't that big a deal and it would probably make these two underestimate her.

"I'm not sure about cooking alone yet," she finally says as she slurps down a spoonful of soup (which is actually really good? Damn!).

[turntex]

"What? Unfair." Dave looks almost offended by Tenten's casual flex, pausing just briefly in his enthusiastic eating. "I'm basically a goddamn ninja and I didn't get magic freshness powers, aside from being fresh as fuck in general but that's not really applicable to food. I mean, I guess I could just rewind anything that rots and get the same effect but that kinda seems like an irresponsible use of time travel? And also I don't know if it'd get rid of any rotsmell."

The way he rambles after a while starts to seem less directed at actual people are more like he's just talking to himself, volume petering off a bit into mumbling. It's weird. No one could be blamed for just tuning him out, but he nudges Catra's led under the table with his foot and, oh, maybe he's still talking to them after all.

"See? This is what junk food is for. Don't listen to Planet Fitness here, when push comes to the end of the goddamn world, Doritos are gonna last a lot longer than a head of cabbage. Thinking long term is the key to hoarding snacks for those of us without innate refrigerator powers."

[71lines]

"You can rewind time? Cool." That must be handy. She sighs, stirring her bowl. "I just mess with space-time and stuff them into scrolls. I think being able to take bad food and make it fresh again is probably a bit more useful." Then again, the food wouldn't be as portable...

She shakes herself back to the here and now. "I'm happy to just store stuff for us. Or running some more night lessons. It's just that I don't want to get anyone caught." Who knew if Jorgmund was going through their stuff during the day? Besides, too much missing food would catch attention, too.

Tenten pops a smidge of tomato into her mouth and glances over to the other girl. "Did you want to take some of this back for Setsuna, Catra?"

[heterochrocatic]

"Rewinding time sounds... dangerous," Catra says around a mouthful of chicken. "I got stuck in an alternate dimension once. Didn't go great." She looks back and forth between the pair. THis kind of thing isn't really weird--just sounds like normal magic, maybe on a larger scale? There's a blink at Tenten's question.

"Oh. Yeah, I could do that. I bet she'd appreciate it."

[turntex]

"And this is why I'm the time guy. It's dangerous shit and I don't trust just any random asshole with said shit. I don't even like the way you say space-time so I'm vetoing that, too. You can fuck with space all you want but that's it."

As much food as he's snagging here, he'd probably be better off just getting a plate. But no, he will continue leaning across the table to steal forkfuls from the serving dishes, casual as one can be while literally chatting about spacetime.

"What's the difference between an alternate dimension and an alternate universe anyway?" he asks after a moment, frowning thoughtfully. "Like, how exactly is that different from our current situation?"

[71lines]

"Too late, I've been doing it since I was twelve." She sticks her tongue out at him.

"We can set aside a small bowl or something for her and-" She pauses at Dave's question, running over Catra's comment in her head. What did she know about alternate dimensions? Not much. "I guess an alternate universe is bigger?" She's not really certain, so she turns to Catra with a curious look.

[heterochrocatic]

"Alternate dimension was just like, a possible alternative existence to the real one," Catra says. For once, she finds herself wishing Entrapta was here. She could happily babble all about portals and dimensions and whatever and spare Catra from having to talk about it.

"It was unstable anyway. It was just this version of my life where everything was... better." She sighs, rests her chin in one hand. "It wasn't actually real though."

[turntex]

Things he doesn't wanna think about: crazy ninja chicks fucking with anything time-related at age twelve. Nevermind the fact that he started at age thirteen. As unenthusiastically and ironically as possible, he sticks his tongue out right back at her. Mature teenagers at work.

"Who says it's not real?" he says, focusing on the probably more important thing. "Like, not to sound like some kind of pretentious windbag saying a whole lot of nothing just to sound smart, but...I don't know. I don't think it's all as straightforward as just 'real' or 'fake', y'know?" He gestures vaguely with the hand holding his fork, like that clarifies anything.

[71lines]

She giggles and goes back to her food.

"Maybe if it was a genjutsu-an illusion I mean? But that's just an illusion, not an alternate reality. Unless you made an entire reality out of an illusion..." Tenten exhales slowly, trying to work it out in her head. Then she just shrugs, abandoning the effort. Too little information, too many questions. "Funny. When I was disguised as Planker, I heard about something like that on board the Rig. But apparently it's just a mirror or something. Not a whole new reality."

[heterochrocatic]

Catra tenses a little, a spike of annoyance and anger rising in her belly. Anxiety. Why are they asking these questions? She should have just kept her mouth shut. She doesn't know these things! She puts off having to answer by taking a mouthful of mushrooms and chicken and chewing slowly.

"I don't know. I'm not a portal expert--that's Entrapta and she's not here," she finally says. "It was collapsing the whole time we were in there."

[turntex]

Dave nods sagely through a mouthful and – very gentlemanly – swallows before opening his mouth. "Yeah, that sounds about right. I mean, I'd call something like that an alternate timeline where I'm from, and those are just kind of doomed by nature. Like some kind of monkey's paw be careful what you wish for crap, sure, maybe everything would seem better in some idealized scenario but you're just gonna die horribly anyway so you're ultimately better off here in corporate hell."

There are a lot more words he could just vomit up on the subject – the inherent paradox of those doomed timelines still mattering even if they aren't the "right" ones, a version of him out there somewhere that is part bird and all depressed and possibly dead? – but fortunately for everyone involved, actual good food is distracting enough to cut himself off with another forkful of chicken. Thank god.

"But for real," he says after a moment, "How the fuck did you manage to pass yourself off as Planker?"

[71lines]

Thanks for swallowing, Dave. That puts him above certain people Tenten could name. Like Guts.

She wants to talk about it some more, but Catra's irritation is practically palpable. And the night's going far too well to focus on a subject that makes her so uncomfortable, whatever part of it that was doing it. Maybe she'd wanted to stay there? It was probably too personal to talk about, so Tenten's happy to hop on to Dave's sudden swerve in subject.

"Ninja magic," she says smoothly, waving her fork and almost losing a chunk of chicken and mushroom to the gesture. How on Earth did Dave manage to become a ninja without that kind of knowledge? Was he like Lee? Questions to ask him later, when he won't be embarrassed by explaining in front of a third party. "I can transform myself into people or things if I want. Planker's way bigger than me, though, so it was pretty exhausting to do."

[heterochrocatic]

"I thought there was just like, one kind of magic?" Catra quirked an eyebrow as she slurped down some soup.

"Oh, I know someone who could do that. They were good at it. Pretty sure they could turn into anyone, if they wanted," Ah Double Trouble. You bitch.