goneawayworld | Not Sleeping Like a Dog

Who: Sirius and Open
What: A great big “dog” sniffing around the Rig. Come and get any much needed therapy dog cuddles and a much more understanding dog than most-- or just find him shapeshifting.
Where: About the rig
When: Night, prior to the Adverse Rig Event
Warnings/Notes: References to imprisonment and dealing with the effects of that. There will be talk of murder and probably PTSD flashbacks in the thread with Remus. Smoking in the thread with Saturday. Will add more here as needed.

I can switch to actionspam if you prefer that.

A. Padding Around (Open)

Sirius couldn’t sleep. Considering he wasn’t welcome in his room and also that he’d taken to spending his nights as a dog lately, this wasn’t surprising. Sirius first started his nightly wandering of the halls as his usual self, then turned into his Animagus form. It was easier to be a dog, less painful, and the smells were far more interesting.

He also had the vague idea that if he were caught like this, he might be in less trouble. Or he might be in more. He’d find out once that happened.

He didn’t check out any rooms just yet. He was just wandering around and getting a mental layout of the place. If anyone approached him, he’d wag his tail and walk slowly toward them. Just a normal, friendly dog. Granted, this dog was huge Newfound-like dog, the size of a short person. Black and shaggy, he could be either terrifying or adorable, depending on one’s view.

Unless they happened to catch him while changing back to Sirius Black, as he sometimes did. In which case, they’d just get a sheepish grin.

B. I Solemnly Swear I Didn’t Betray Our Friends (Closed to Remus)

To say it had been a long day was an understatement. Sirius longed to sleep. And they had actual beds here. On the way to his room he imagined what it would be like to have a nice, restful night in peace and quie--

He stopped just inside of his room. He knew he’d have a roommate, of course. He just didn’t think it’d be…

“Remus,” he said quietly. “This is your room?”

The last time they’d talked had not gone well. It’d been pretty close to explosive, really. Sirius had little hope that this time would be better.

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Remus had finally been allowed to slip away from the insipid party, though one of the guards had taken pity on him and took him to his assigned room. Not that Remus cared that much where he was sleeping. He just wanted to get horizontal for another eight to ten hours and try to sleep off the deprivation hangover he had.

Which had been fine. Right up until Sirius Black showed up in the doorway.

His shoulders tensed unconsciously, teeth bared in a grimace that was a common enough reaction to being surprised right after the full moon. If Sirius hadn't already guessed it had been near back home.

"According to the man who brought me here, yes. But, obviously, there must be some sort of mistake." He'd started to unzip the jumpsuit, which was practically the only thing he had here, anyway. There was a bag of undergarments, but that was easy enough to take with. "I'll simply find the correct one and be out of your hair."

At least he hadn't started yelling yet.

Sirius held up his hand and did not step away from the doorway. "Stop. If you feel like that, I'll go. I'm the one who can sleep anywhere." He started off sounding tired but at the last part he couldn't help a certain sharpness in his voice.

He shouldn't have to deal with this. Pettigrew was the traitor. He would never have betrayed James and Lily and Harry for God's sake. Remus should know that.

And then he remembered why he'd suggested Peter in the first place and all he felt was a wave of shame. He stepped back and looked aside for a moment. Meeting Remus's angry, bitter eyes was harder when Sirius knew that he deserved it.

He hadn't managed a nap, but he'd had food. That meant that Remus was already doing better than he'd been doing the night before.

Still cold, still tired, but at least not hungry.

"There are plenty of empty rooms around here. It won't be difficult to find somewhere to sleep."

Yes, Sirius could easily sleep anywhere. It doesn't mean he should HAVE to.

It had been a while since Sirius had experienced Remus's passive aggressive nature directed at him although Azkaban had forced him to relive those memories. In the past, Sirius had always deserved it. Not this time.

This time guilt didn't deflect his anger and it rose up in him though it remained controlled. "You're being ridiculous. I can leave if you hate me that much." More or less controlled. "If you would just listen to me, this wouldn't be a problem in the first place."

Really, Remus hadn't been like this since Sirius had nearly gotten Snape killed. Though even then, he hadn't been this bad.

Then again, that was only attempted.

Remus frowned, crossing his arms across his chest. "You could talk until you're blue in the face, Black. I have no reason to believe you."

"It's the truth." Sirius snapped. "Whether you believe it or not, it will still be the truth."

He felt a cold fury at everything about this situation. The evidence was stacked against him, he knew that. He knew that he could prove he told the truth if he either found Pettigrew or he drank so much Veritaserum Remus wouldn't think him capable of resisting. Even outside of Azkaban, there was no way Sirius could escape the trap that Peter had laid for him. The same trap Sirius had accidentally helped him create.

Oh yes, it was Pettigrew's fault. It was Crouch's fault too, for sending him to Azkaban with no trial. But it was also Sirius's own fault. He could never forget that and the guilt and shame twisted his anger into something even darker.

"I'm sorry. I should have told you. I should have trusted you and I never should have trusted that--" He broke off before he started insulting his former friend. Remus wouldn't taken kindly to that, seeing as he thought the rat sacrificed himself to take down Sirius. "But I never betrayed them."

"The proof says otherwise." And it's the proof that Remus has to believe, no matter what his heart says. His heart that wants to believe Sirius.

But if it were true, wouldn't proof otherwise have been found?

Remus's arms tightened around his body, raising his chin a bit to keep eye contact. "You were the one everybody else took their leads from, Sirius. They still barely trust me. You did your job well."

"If I did my job James and Lily would still be alive." Sirius's voice was thick with emotion. At this point the only thing keeping him together was sheer force of will. He had more than enough practice at that.

"I didn't tell them not to trust you. I didn't want that." He placed his hand on the door jamb, not trusting he could stand for very much longer on his own. His body ached and all of this only made it hurt worse. "And the proof..." Sirius's eyes went from dark to blazing. "The proof is Peter's alive somewhere, waiting, biding his damn time. Do you think I like admitting he outsmarted me? Who'd have thought he had it in him?" His nails scratched against the jamb. He stared at them, just imagining the things he would do if he ever caught that traitor.

The night before, it was Remus who had run out of steam, who couldn't handle the fight any longer. He could see it happening to Sirius and...it honestly didn't make any sense at all. Unless Sirius was trying to snow him, trying to make him believe what he was saying.

Remus's jaw tightened as he reached for the bag to pick it up, turning back to the doorway. "Get out of my way, Black."

Sirius had forgotten what started the argument. He looked up, startled, surprised to see the bag until he remembered how this all began. How had he gotten lost so quickly in his own thoughts? He'd have to fix that before it got him killed.

"I said I'll go." He gathered enough strength to push himself off the door jamb and back onto his own feet. "A dog can sleep anywhere." He stepped back but didn't transform just yet.

He made an admonishing sound at the back of his throat. Because, no matter how much he kept trying to tell himself he hated Sirius, some part of him also didn't want to see the other man in pain on his behalf.

"Don't be ridiculous. Just take the room. I'll be fine." There were plenty of other places to sleep, after all.

They'd all be just as cold and the mattresses themselves would be awful, but there were plenty of rooms.

Sirius just gave him a look, the kind that said quite plainly "don't tell me what to do."

"If you won't let me do anything else, let me do this." And then he did transform before Remus became even more difficult.

He huffed at Remus and then took off. He didn't make it far, of course, he was too exhausted and weak for that. But it got the point across.

Remus went to the door, though a little too slowly to see where Sirius got off to. He stood there a moment, then huffed a sigh and went to lay down.

And to try to quiet the doubts creeping into the back of his mind. The ones that wondered if Sirius might be telling the truth.

Not Sleeping Like a Dog

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