goneawayworld | Not Sleeping Like a Dog

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Not Sleeping Like a Dog

Who: Sirius and Open
What: A great big “dog” sniffing around the Rig. Come and get any much needed therapy dog cuddles and a much more understanding dog than most-- or just find him shapeshifting.
Where: About the rig
When: Night, prior to the Adverse Rig Event
Warnings/Notes: References to imprisonment and dealing with the effects of that. There will be talk of murder and probably PTSD flashbacks in the thread with Remus. Smoking in the thread with Saturday. Will add more here as needed.

I can switch to actionspam if you prefer that.

A. Padding Around (Open)

Sirius couldn’t sleep. Considering he wasn’t welcome in his room and also that he’d taken to spending his nights as a dog lately, this wasn’t surprising. Sirius first started his nightly wandering of the halls as his usual self, then turned into his Animagus form. It was easier to be a dog, less painful, and the smells were far more interesting.

He also had the vague idea that if he were caught like this, he might be in less trouble. Or he might be in more. He’d find out once that happened.

He didn’t check out any rooms just yet. He was just wandering around and getting a mental layout of the place. If anyone approached him, he’d wag his tail and walk slowly toward them. Just a normal, friendly dog. Granted, this dog was huge Newfound-like dog, the size of a short person. Black and shaggy, he could be either terrifying or adorable, depending on one’s view.

Unless they happened to catch him while changing back to Sirius Black, as he sometimes did. In which case, they’d just get a sheepish grin.

B. I Solemnly Swear I Didn’t Betray Our Friends (Closed to Remus)

To say it had been a long day was an understatement. Sirius longed to sleep. And they had actual beds here. On the way to his room he imagined what it would be like to have a nice, restful night in peace and quie--

He stopped just inside of his room. He knew he’d have a roommate, of course. He just didn’t think it’d be…

“Remus,” he said quietly. “This is your room?”

The last time they’d talked had not gone well. It’d been pretty close to explosive, really. Sirius had little hope that this time would be better.

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Remus had finally been allowed to slip away from the insipid party, though one of the guards had taken pity on him and took him to his assigned room. Not that Remus cared that much where he was sleeping. He just wanted to get horizontal for another eight to ten hours and try to sleep off the deprivation hangover he had.

Which had been fine. Right up until Sirius Black showed up in the doorway.

His shoulders tensed unconsciously, teeth bared in a grimace that was a common enough reaction to being surprised right after the full moon. If Sirius hadn't already guessed it had been near back home.

"According to the man who brought me here, yes. But, obviously, there must be some sort of mistake." He'd started to unzip the jumpsuit, which was practically the only thing he had here, anyway. There was a bag of undergarments, but that was easy enough to take with. "I'll simply find the correct one and be out of your hair."

At least he hadn't started yelling yet.

Sirius held up his hand and did not step away from the doorway. "Stop. If you feel like that, I'll go. I'm the one who can sleep anywhere." He started off sounding tired but at the last part he couldn't help a certain sharpness in his voice.

He shouldn't have to deal with this. Pettigrew was the traitor. He would never have betrayed James and Lily and Harry for God's sake. Remus should know that.

And then he remembered why he'd suggested Peter in the first place and all he felt was a wave of shame. He stepped back and looked aside for a moment. Meeting Remus's angry, bitter eyes was harder when Sirius knew that he deserved it.

He hadn't managed a nap, but he'd had food. That meant that Remus was already doing better than he'd been doing the night before.

Still cold, still tired, but at least not hungry.

"There are plenty of empty rooms around here. It won't be difficult to find somewhere to sleep."

Yes, Sirius could easily sleep anywhere. It doesn't mean he should HAVE to.

It had been a while since Sirius had experienced Remus's passive aggressive nature directed at him although Azkaban had forced him to relive those memories. In the past, Sirius had always deserved it. Not this time.

This time guilt didn't deflect his anger and it rose up in him though it remained controlled. "You're being ridiculous. I can leave if you hate me that much." More or less controlled. "If you would just listen to me, this wouldn't be a problem in the first place."

Really, Remus hadn't been like this since Sirius had nearly gotten Snape killed. Though even then, he hadn't been this bad.

Then again, that was only attempted.

Remus frowned, crossing his arms across his chest. "You could talk until you're blue in the face, Black. I have no reason to believe you."

Stacia met his sheepish grin with a single raised eyebrow. Which would have been more impressive if she hadn't yawned immediately after, but it was late and she was tired and she couldn't sleep because of the stupid goddamned nightmares.

Oh well. She'd wanted to talk with him anyway.

"So," she said. "Tell me about 'wizard Hitler'."

Apparently, the werewolf had something on her mind other than you turn into a dog?

"It's the truth." Sirius snapped. "Whether you believe it or not, it will still be the truth."

He felt a cold fury at everything about this situation. The evidence was stacked against him, he knew that. He knew that he could prove he told the truth if he either found Pettigrew or he drank so much Veritaserum Remus wouldn't think him capable of resisting. Even outside of Azkaban, there was no way Sirius could escape the trap that Peter had laid for him. The same trap Sirius had accidentally helped him create.

Oh yes, it was Pettigrew's fault. It was Crouch's fault too, for sending him to Azkaban with no trial. But it was also Sirius's own fault. He could never forget that and the guilt and shame twisted his anger into something even darker.

"I'm sorry. I should have told you. I should have trusted you and I never should have trusted that--" He broke off before he started insulting his former friend. Remus wouldn't taken kindly to that, seeing as he thought the rat sacrificed himself to take down Sirius. "But I never betrayed them."

That grin faded as he stared at her in confusion. He knew that she'd talked to Remus so she probably knew that Sirius had been sent to Azkaban for murder. But what did that have to do with--

"Wizard Hitler?" he repeated. He couldn't think of a famous wizard named--

And then he remembered some conversations with Lily and Remus about the parallels in Muggle history. Once again Sirius got to keenly feel the gaps in his education. The best parallel was Grindelwald-- same time. But he doubted that was what she wanted to know about.

"Do you mean Voldemort?"

Stacia shrugged.

"Probably. I thought it would be rude to interrogate our mutual acquaintance for all the details of why he was angry with you while pretending that we hadn't already spoken."

She put her hands on her hips and stared him down. If she'd had access to the gifts that made her appear more socially impressive, she'd have used them.

"I figured I'd follow up by getting your side. 'Tell me about wizard Hitler' struck me as more informative than a simple 'what the fuck'."

"The proof says otherwise." And it's the proof that Remus has to believe, no matter what his heart says. His heart that wants to believe Sirius.

But if it were true, wouldn't proof otherwise have been found?

Remus's arms tightened around his body, raising his chin a bit to keep eye contact. "You were the one everybody else took their leads from, Sirius. They still barely trust me. You did your job well."

At some point in the night he had stumbled upon the dog. Having absolutely no idea it actually was Sirius, he actually petted the dog's head.
"Good dog."

Just seeing the dog seems to have done wonders for Dojima's mood. Things are a little brighter when there's an animal around, that's for sure.

Later, when he was about to retire to his room, he came upon the sight of the dog changing back to Sirius Black. That was, well, it was certainly less disturbing than how the large, blue one changed into a human.

Still, he comments:

"...that makes the petting somewhat awkward now, huh."

Note to himself: consider any animal he encounters around here to possibly be another one of the new hires.

"I thought it'd be rude to tell you 'by the way, I've been framed and sentenced to life in Azkaban for a crime I didn't commit' while we were at a party." He tried to sound clever and funny, but he just sounded tired instead.

He'd been waiting for this to happen. While he'd tried to brace himself, there was no way to take the sting out of people believing you were everything you'd fought against.

"I don't know what Remus told you. I don't know how to explain all of it to you. But-- there are where I'm from Wizards and Muggles, people who can't use magic. Voldemort was a powerful wizard who wanted to kill all Muggles and essentially anyone who wasn't pureblood-- people who have no Muggle ancestry." He rolled his eyes. "Or so they claim." He paused, thinking over what to say next. "My friends and I fought against him and his followers. Voldemort targeted my best friend, James, his wife, Lily, and their son. They had to go into hiding but the only way to guarantee they would be safe was the Fidelius Charm-- ah--" How to explain? "It makes it so only one person knows and can divulge a secret. This secret can't be forced out of the Secret Keeper, even under torture. The Secret Keeper can tell someone else, but that person can't tell others. It was the perfect solution--" He frowned, his expression turning into one of contempt but directed inwards. "Until I ruined it.

"James wanted me to be the Secret Keeper but we knew there was a traitor very close to us. I thought it'd be safer if instead, our friend--" He couldn't even say his name without biting back a growl. "Pettigrew-- was the Secret Keeper. So we switched and told no one. And that-- fucking rat--" Now he did growl. "Barely a week and he told Voldemort. Harry survived and somehow Voldemort was destroyed but J--" His voice cracked and he looked away. He put his fist to his mouth, cleared his throat, and tried again. "James and Lily--"

It was no use. She knew already, either from Remus or the way Sirius couldn't finish the sentence.

"I went after Pettigrew and when I found him, he--" Again, he had to fight against the memories. Azkaban's hold over him was still so strong. Everything was still so clear. Not just the sights and sounds but the smell. "He blew up a street full of Muggles, cut off his finger, turned into a rat, and ran off into the sewers. They sent me to Azkaban without a trial."

He took a deep, shaky breath and looked at Stacia. "That is my side."

Sirius shrugged. "It was a pat on the head. I wouldn't call that awkward. If you'd called me 'the bestest doggy in the world, yes you are,' then it might be weird." Far worse than that had been said to him but it was all in good fun, especially when he was the only one in on the joke.

"But I won't tell if you won't." He winked and in the process looked a little more like the person he used to be.

"If I did my job James and Lily would still be alive." Sirius's voice was thick with emotion. At this point the only thing keeping him together was sheer force of will. He had more than enough practice at that.

"I didn't tell them not to trust you. I didn't want that." He placed his hand on the door jamb, not trusting he could stand for very much longer on his own. His body ached and all of this only made it hurt worse. "And the proof..." Sirius's eyes went from dark to blazing. "The proof is Peter's alive somewhere, waiting, biding his damn time. Do you think I like admitting he outsmarted me? Who'd have thought he had it in him?" His nails scratched against the jamb. He stared at them, just imagining the things he would do if he ever caught that traitor.

The night before, it was Remus who had run out of steam, who couldn't handle the fight any longer. He could see it happening to Sirius and...it honestly didn't make any sense at all. Unless Sirius was trying to snow him, trying to make him believe what he was saying.

Remus's jaw tightened as he reached for the bag to pick it up, turning back to the doorway. "Get out of my way, Black."

Sirius had forgotten what started the argument. He looked up, startled, surprised to see the bag until he remembered how this all began. How had he gotten lost so quickly in his own thoughts? He'd have to fix that before it got him killed.

"I said I'll go." He gathered enough strength to push himself off the door jamb and back onto his own feet. "A dog can sleep anywhere." He stepped back but didn't transform just yet.

He made an admonishing sound at the back of his throat. Because, no matter how much he kept trying to tell himself he hated Sirius, some part of him also didn't want to see the other man in pain on his behalf.

"Don't be ridiculous. Just take the room. I'll be fine." There were plenty of other places to sleep, after all.

They'd all be just as cold and the mattresses themselves would be awful, but there were plenty of rooms.

Sirius just gave him a look, the kind that said quite plainly "don't tell me what to do."

"If you won't let me do anything else, let me do this." And then he did transform before Remus became even more difficult.

He huffed at Remus and then took off. He didn't make it far, of course, he was too exhausted and weak for that. But it got the point across.

Remus went to the door, though a little too slowly to see where Sirius got off to. He stood there a moment, then huffed a sigh and went to lay down.

And to try to quiet the doubts creeping into the back of his mind. The ones that wondered if Sirius might be telling the truth.

Alloran turns all his eyes on the animal, wary. His knowledge of Earth is a little patchy. This is a dog, a wolf modified by humans to suit them. He knows wolves, all right, and he can take a wolf. And a wolf can take him, if he's distracted or unable to get his tail in play. This dog is quite large and has an unknown purpose.

For his part Alloran's smell has been present for a while. It's very grassy and not unpleasant, but also not really that close to anything of Earth.

<Have you escaped from one of the workers' areas, or are you a 'new hire' able to transform yourself?> he asks it in thought-speech, a voicelike sensation that doesn't seem to come from any particular direction.

Well, someone had clearly been waiting to get all that off of his chest. Stacia listened attentively as he spoke, letting his words and emotions flow around her and drain until the important information was left.

Remus and Sirius both agreed that their had been betrayed by another friend to a genocidal asshole. They disagreed on who that friend was. Remus had said that Sirius' ability to turn into a dog specifically had something to do with who he was as a person, and this Pettigrew person turned into a rat and faked his death. Sirius seemed genuinely distraught over his friends' betrayal and death and blamed himself, which could be a ruse but would otherwise speak to the truth of his story. Remus hadn't said anything about whether or not Sirius had a trial, she'd have to confirm that with him.

"So what you're saying is that you knew everyone would think that you were the Secret Keeper, so you tried to throw them off the scent by using someone else, and everyone still thought you were the Secret Keeper anyway," she summarized. "Also, you live in a shitty society of lazy assholes, jeez."

Garou had trials and gifts to tell if someone was lying or not. Human wizards had no excuse.

There goes the awkwardness. Something about Sirius' laidback way of taking it does make it all seem like more of a funny situation, instead of something to feel weird about.

"It's only matter of time before someone says that to you. Someone among us must be a dog person."

Possibly one of the younger ones, Dojima thinks, but who knows. It's not a certainty!

"I'm not telling -- but is it really a secret? You weren't hiding too hard before doing this."

Sirius didn't transform right in the open, but it also wasn't in, say, a bathroom or a closet where privacy was more or less guaranteed. Dojima can only suppose Sirius isn't really trying too hard to hide his dog transformation.

So that was the source of that strange smell. Sirius had seen Alloran before-- it was hard not to notice him. He'd assumed that maybe he was some distant relative of centaurs that had kept quiet. The other possibility being he was an alien like in those Muggle movies. Once a voice sounded (and yet didn't) in his mind, Sirius was more inclined to believe the latter.

Sirius startled, which in a dog involved his head cocking to one side and lifting his front paw.

He considered leaving it a mystery. He also considered just going out of sight to transform back. But he always was a show off and it wasn't illegal here...

Sirius placed his foot down, wagged his tail a few times, and then instead of a dog there stood a tall, pale, and very gaunt man.

"You were quick to jump to that conclusion." Sirius pushed up the sleeves of his overly loose coveralls. "Just what gave it away?"

There seem to be different mechanisms for transformation going on here. Lots of people who prefer canid forms. He wonders why.

Alloran grins. It's a subtle expression on him, in the angles of his eyes, though he also holds his stalk eyes further apart.

<It's always possible for suspicious animals to be people who can transform disguising themselves. I've seen it a lot. Anyway, if I was wrong it's not like anyone would know. You do that very quickly.>

"Hey, pup." Saturday crouches down, extending a hand as the strange dog makes overtures. "Aren't you a cutie?"

The dog is, by her standards. Red Town hounds are working dogs: guardians loved but kept for a purpose that is not companionship, or mutts abused into vicious madness. This dog is neither, she thinks: there's too much intelligence in its black eyes, and it's far too openly friendly.

"What a snuggly-wuggly cutie pie, yes you are -

A thought occurs to her, moments before her fingers make contact with the base of the dog's ears.

"Wait. You're not Alloran or somebody else who shapeshifts, are you?"

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Not Sleeping Like a Dog

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some vague PTSD flashbacks in this huge tag

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