"I've met, or fought, the smartest people in my world. And I'm no slouch myself," says the guy who could have a conversation with Albert Einstein as an intellectual equal. "The few conversations I've had with him haven't gone very far, but he blows all of us, meaning my world, out of the water. Combined."

He pauses, striking a little pose as if he meant to look intellectual like this. After a moment, he just grimaces and slowly pulls his hand away, ignoring the painful ripping and loss of chin hair. And the patches of glue left behind. "...I'd look like a snob walking around like that." And what's the point of being a super soldier if you couldn't pull off some glue?