We're caught in a trap/I can't walk out/Because I love you too much, baby

[thewholeofthemoon]

Who: Remus and Stacia
What: Two werewolves discussing the full moon
Where: Quiet corner of the library
When: Before the full moon, sometime before June plots
Warnings/Notes: Discussions of murders and death. Updated as needed.


The library is a good escape for Remus. It's quiet, but a different kind of quiet from the room he's been allocated. And he refuses to think that the reason the room is so quiet because the other bed is empty.

He's been avoiding Sirius since that stupid presentation, but that doesn't mean he hasn't been thinking about the other man. Then again, he's rarely thought of much else in his down time over the past year and a bit. Which is why he tries to keep busy. The less he has to think, the better.

Still, there is a purpose to being in the library at the moment. He smiles wanly when Stacia appears, raising his hand to wave to her. He looks relieved and...somewhat embarrassed as he stands. "Stacia. Hello. I hope this isn't a bad time?"

Not that it being a bad time necessarily means that the conversation can be avoided. The moon may be a bit different here, but it still seems to hold the same sway. Which means this is something he needs to talk about sooner or later.

Comments

[credit_not_blame]

"I'm guessing that you're going to need a little room to stretch your legs too, if we're going to distract you from the urge to hunt down all the humans in the vicinity," Stacia says. "Maybe we can get us a night pass off the Rig. Not very far, but far enough that you and I can run around and tire you out a little."

[thewholeofthemoon]

"That would be more ideal, yes." Remus nods, his smile turning rueful. "I am...I suppose proud isn't the right word, but I've never harmed anybody in all this time, so I'd like to keep the streak, if possible. Getting outside would be best. We..." A pause, then, "We used to do that a lot while I was at Hogwarts."

[credit_not_blame]

"It's a good streak to keep," Stacia says. She certainly can't say the same for herself, but they're not talking about her.

The 'we' she assumes was Remus and Sirius and their friends (note to self, don't say 'James' or 'Peter'), but first--

"'Hogwarts'?"

She really wants to poke at Remus' assumptions about Sirius' guilt, but there's no way she wouldn't ask about 'Hogwarts'.

[thewholeofthemoon]

He would point out it was different for her, though. She had control during her shifts and didn't wake up with only vague memories of what had been done with no way to stop it. It's the helplessness that's the problem more than just not wanting to harm anybody.

Which is why he pauses and amends, "As a wolf, I should point out. I did plenty of harm just as a wizard, but we were fighting a war at the time."

He'd had a choice in the matter. It made a lot of difference.

He blinks at her for asking, then smiles. "Yes, Hogwarts. It's...basically a boarding school for wizards and witches in my world. For the UK. There are others around the world. Quite a few countries have their own, though some regions share one. Usually where there are several small countries in the same area." Because three schools for the whole of Europe doesn't make sense.

[credit_not_blame]

A lot of problems boil down to helplessness. Stacia is quite familiar with the sensation, and has put a lot of effort into limiting her encounters with it. She nods at him and smiles.

"Fair enough. I'm not even going to tell you the kinds of damage I've done while completely in control of my actions," she says. Then, because they're talking about Remus and not about her, she continues on: "well, that's certainly a name that someone chose to give a school we're presumably supposed to take seriously. Speaking of, I'm guessing your other shape-shifting buddies weren't also big dogs or you'd have mentioned it, do you think I'll have trouble wrangling you on my own or will your wolf play nice with my wolf?"

[thewholeofthemoon]

"Magic mostly gives us more ways to do a lot of damage and the chance to do it at a distance." He returns her smile, even laughing as she talks about the name of the school. "I have no idea where the name came from. It's been around for...900 years? Something like that. I've always assumed it meant something at the time, but maybe somebody just picked names out of a hat."

Going back to the proper topic at hand sobers Remus right up, though, making him look tired again. "No, not all of them. Padfoot...Sirius. It was him and Prongs. Sorry, James. They were the ones who were large enough to keep me in control if I caught scent of something to hunt. James made a rather impressive stag." Hence the nickname. "Wormtail. Erm. Peter. He was a rat. Which was a bit of luck, really. There was a secret passage way to where I was normally kept during the full moon, guarded by a whomping willow." Yes, he can say all that with a straight face. "Peter was small enough to evade the tree limbs and press the knot that allowed them all to join me. And for us to get back out to run around."

[credit_not_blame]

"Two-to-one is pretty good odds on big animals verses a wolf," Stacia says. Then, "wait, you guys called one of your friends 'Wormtail'? That's appealing. What did they call you, 'Mr. Fluffums'?"

[thewholeofthemoon]

"I will admit, once you know what they could change into, the names aren't very imaginative." And thinking about that time, when they were sitting around in their dorm, coming up with code names. It all seems so far away now. "To be fair, though, I'm pretty certain we were drunk when we finally settled on them."

He huffs a soft laugh and shakes his head. "Moony, actually. Though I'm pretty sure Fluffums may have come up, though for Sirius."

[credit_not_blame]

"Of course you were drunk," says Stacia with the affectionate exasperation of a teenager who can sober up from regular booze by choosing to shapeshift. "Still 'Wormtail'? Moony? Well, I guess I'm glad you were at a point in your life where you could have a sense of humor about it. Probably healthier for you in the long run."

[thewholeofthemoon]

"I'd lived with it for rather a long time at that point. Nearly a decade by the time they figured out how to be Animagi." He says it without thinking because it's just the truth. And while he knows his situation was unusual, it doesn't mean that the truth isn't just easier to come out and say. "If I didn't have a sense of humor about my 'furry little problem', then I'd have gone mad long before reaching Hogwarts."

[credit_not_blame]

Stacia spins on him again, eyes wide.

"Nearly a decade?!" she repeats, shrilling his words into a question. "You would have been--"

She cuts off, jaw flexing and fingers curling into claws.

"Who the fuck was so irresponsible that a little kid found them?!"

[thewholeofthemoon]

"Five, actually." He watches her for a moment, then shakes his head. "It wasn't an accident, Stacia. I didn't find Greyback. He was angry at my father. I was..." A pause as he considers how to phrase it. "I would say collateral, but he knew what he was doing. Targetted, perhaps, is the better way of putting it."

[credit_not_blame]

Stacia's mouth drops into an 'o' of surprise, her eyes widening to match. Then she transforms -- though, fortunately, not into an eight-foot-plus wolf-monster. But her posture and expression do change from that of a relatively normal teenage girl to something...else. Something with an expression that makes a person want to step back, or to pop their ears to equalize the atmospheric pressure.

"Oh," she says. "I see. Would you like me to take his head off, should I have the opportunity?"

[thewholeofthemoon]

Remus pauses a moment, eyeing her carefully. "I can't decide if you should ever meet Professor McGonagall or not," he says after a moment, then shakes his head as if to get the thought out of his head. "I...You know, you might be one of the few who I think could do it. And there's a part of me that wants to say no, that I shouldn't put that on you at your age."

Which isn't actually him saying no. "But. If the chance were ever to come about. I wouldn't stop you."

[credit_not_blame]

"Don't get me wrong," Stacia says as her posture starts relaxing back towards normal. "Killing monsters isn't my favorite part of being a werewolf. But I can get the job done if I have to. Also, you should absolutely introduce me to this Professor McGonagall person, I love collecting mentors."

She settles back into herself and purses her lips thoughtfully.

"Okay, so we're looking for a one-night pass off of the Rig because you will absolutely fuck shit up on board when you're shifted otherwise, and me to go along with and make sure you don't run off. Anything else that might be pertinent?"

[thewholeofthemoon]

Remus nods slowly. "I mean. I'd do it myself if I ever saw him on the battlefield. And possibly in a dark alley." Or maybe not even in a dark one. "And you and the professor together scare me. Just the idea of it."

He leans against the wall, crossing his arms. "No, though it would be a good idea if they allow us off the Rig a bit before nightfall. I'd rather not change while still on here."

[credit_not_blame]

"I just don't want to step on any toes if it would offer you closure for you to be the one to kill him is all," Stacia says. "Or if you'd prefer to see him brought to justice in another way. Justice and revenge can be persnickety."

She nods. "Okay, get off before full night-fall. When we hit up our so-called supervisors, let me do the talking, all right? I'm good at convincing people that my ideas are their ideas."

[thewholeofthemoon]

"They tried bringing him to justice before. Sometimes, they need to be taken down instead."

It was said fairly mildly, but there was some steel behind it. He definitely wouldn't mind Greyback being dead.

He pauses at the second part and nods. "That's fine. I'm good with finishing off plans, but I'm not the talker."

twenty minutes later...

[credit_not_blame]

"I guess they did have a plan," Stacia says, pouting. She'd really been hoping for an excuse to get off the Rig and have a proper run. But apparently Jorgmund was planning on stashing Remus in a room with a Kong toy, only it was a reinforced room and it would have bedding and meat in it.

[thewholeofthemoon]

Remus isn't pouting, but he does look resigned. "Well. I suppose it's good to know that they aren't entirely incompetent." Though, he had been looking forward to getting away from the Rig for a little while.